Episode 11: A Bigger Mess

Development: Autumn Continued

            Jay sat there, trembling. "What's wrong with me?" He thought. Just say it! He stared into Isabelle's eyes and took a deep breath,

"I...love..." He started. Then somehow out of nowhere an idea popped up in his head.

"Karaoke!" He blurted out. Isabelle looked at him oddly,

"Karaoke?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. Jay was silent, still somewhat distraught over his realization.  After another moment of silence Isabelle started to smile, and then burst out laughing. Jay just stared at her, dumfounded. "Man, she looks really cute when she laughs." He thought to himself, starting to smile a little too, "Even her eyes look like they're smiling." He could help but start laughing at himself too.

"I never thought someone like you would like karaoke." Isabelle said, laughter finally calming down. "I mean you're so..." she gestured to his all black outfit and rock star look, "you're so...you." She was going to say cool, but decided she probably shouldn't flatter his ego.

"What about me?" Jay asked, trying to put on his serious face and act offended. "Just because I'm so handsome and awesome doesn't mean I can't like karaoke."

"Well you said you loved it." Isabelle answered back, smiling at the poor job Jay was doing at trying to keep his cool.

"Right...." Jay ran his hand through his hair, "Well anyway, we're going to karaoke tonight...so I just thought..." He looked around the little room, trying to avoid her eye contact.

"Are you saying that you want me to go?" Isabelle raised an eyebrow, unable to stop smiling. Jay grew even pinker than he already was.

"Don't make it sound like I'm the one who wants you to go." Jay said, trying his best to keep his face calm and collected even though he was a mess of emotions inside. "It was Lao Hu's idea. I'm just passing on the message." He fiddled with the guitar strap over his shoulder, not knowing what to do with his hands. Isabelle rolled her eyes,

"I thought you were trying to avoid me." She pointed out.

"How..." Jay started.

"It's been obvious. How you get up and leave every time I walk in a room. How you glare at me every time we can't help but be in the same room at the same time." Isabelle could remember many more examples but Jay jumped in,

"Yeah, ok fine. So does that mean you're not going to go?" Jay was frustrated with himself for being so stupid. Isabelle scoffed,

"I'll save you the trouble and stay away. Actually, I'll do you a favor now and leave so you don't have to."She stood up from the piano bench and grabbed her sheet music.

"No!" Jay jumped up and grabbed her wrist. She turned and looked up at him, scowling. He tried to beg her to stay with his eyes. "Please don't go" he thought. He let go of her wrist and took the music out of her hands, setting it back on the piano. He took a couple steps back and took off the guitar on his back, setting it aside. Sitting back down on the bench, he signaled to her with his head to sit back down.

           Isabelle looked up into Jay's eyes. "Why does he look so familiar?" She thought as she searched his dark eyes. "Does he really want me to stay? No, I should leave." Isabelle broke eye contact first, deciding to leave, but still a part of her really wanted to stay. But Jay took her music from her hands and set it back on the piano. "What is he...doing?" He pulled on her arm, causing her to sit back down.

            Jay took a deep breath. "You can do this." he thought.  He slowly placed his hands on the piano keys, and turned to look back at Isabelle.

"Teach me."

Isabelle couldn't help but smile. "How can I be angry with him?" she thought. She turned and put her right hand on the keys to play a chord.

"C major chord" she said. Jay positioned his fingers on the same keys but an octave lower, and purposely flattening his fingers, he played the chord as well.

"Curl your fingers up. Don't flatten them." Isabelle instructed. She then began playing each note of the chord one at a time in a triplet rhythm. Jay followed her lead, but purposely did it terribly.

"I said not to play with your fingers flat." Isabelle put her left hand over Jay's right hand and pulled his fingers in and held them in a curved position. "Like that" she said.

            Jay's breath caught in his throat as he felt Isabelle's hand cover his. Then all of a sudden he felt something odd on her fingertips. He slowly pulled his right hand out and took Isabelle's left hand in his and turned it over. He ran his thumb across the palm of her hand and down her fingers and stopped at her fingertips. He saw a little white spot on the tips of three of the fingers and felt them with his thumb, feeling the lightly callused skin. He brought up his own left hand and looked at his own callused fingertips, only his were much more hardened and on every finger.

"Oh, yeah." Isabelle said quietly, "Li Qiang's been teaching me to play the bass." She avoided looking at him. Jay looked at Isabelle, her face slightly pink, avoiding his gaze. "Why do you spend so much time with Loq?" he silently asked her. He let go of her hand and placed his fingers back on the piano and played the chord again, this time perfectly, just like Isabelle had showed him. Isabelle looked up at him in surprise,

"You learn fast." She said. It was Jay's turn to avoid her gaze, "You're not supposed to know how to play the piano remember?" he scolded himself in his head. Isabelle showed him some more chords and rhythms to play, and Jay purposely struggled to play them, but after a while, he let himself "improve".

            Isabelle and Jay spent an hour playing the piano together, laughing and play-fighting the whole time, enjoying each other's company every minute that passed.  Jay would watch Isabelle and how she would smile and laugh with him, the way her laughter reached her eyes and rang throughout the little room, the way her hair would fall like a waterfall around her face, the way she would tuck it back behind her ear, Jay felt his heart jump.  Jay always thought that the way to make a girl fall in love with him was to make her laugh, but he found that the more she laughed, that he was the one to fall more and more in love with her.

"Jay. About earlier..." Isabelle started. Jay just stared at her, eyes wide with surprise. Isabelle noticed. "What?" she asked with a questioning look. Jay looked down, a little embarrassed.

"Well it's just..." he felt a lot more comfortable talking with her now, "It's just that, I've never heard you say my name before."  He lifted his eyes a little to meet hers, a small smile tugging at his lips. Isabelle smiled a little, trying not to look affected by his words, so she continued.

"About earlier, who was that? That girl looking for you."

            Jay's smile disappeared as the giggling image of Cera popped up in his head. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Some fan that's obsessed with me. Don't worry, I'm used to it." He tried to play it off. "I'm not exactly lying am I?" he thought. "I just kind of left out the details that this obsessed fan happens to be a popular actress and all my friends are trying to hook us up. That's not important right?" He scratched the back of his head, playing it cool. Isabelle laughed again, not wanting to admit that she was becoming his fan too.

            All of a sudden a buzzing noise sounded on the piano. Isabelle jumped a little at the sound but then realized it was her phone. She answered it,

"Hello? It's rehearsal time already? Oh my gosh, sorry! I guess I just lost track of time. I'll be right there!" She hung up the phone and grabbed her music and her bag. She looked back at Jay and explained, "We're having a rehearsal for our concert next weekend. I was supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago. I have to go." She turned to leave but Jay called her back,

"Isabelle!"

She turned around, looking at him with her large brown eyes and her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"So, you are going to go to karaoke tonight, right?" He asked, hoping with all his might that she would go, because at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to just spend time with her. Isabelle smiled and bit her lip again, and did something strange, she giggled quietly. This was a different kind of giggle Jay noticed, different than the annoying one Cera had, it was adorable, and Jay wanted to hear it again.

"What's so funny?" he asked, trying not to show just how much he loved her giggle. She looked away at the ground,

"That's just the first time I've heard you say my name." Her smiling eyes looked back at him.

"So I'll take that as a yes?" Jay couldn't help but smile now. Isabelle opened the door and took a step out before turning around,

"I'll be there." And with that, she left.

            Jay sat alone now on the piano bench, memories of the past flooding back. All those times they had gone on adventures together, laughed together, talked about the future,  had all came back with the short hour they had just spent in the little music room.  

            Jay lifted his hands to the piano again, placing them correctly on the keys.  Recalling the piece that Isabelle had played earlier, the notes of Chopin's nocturne came to his fingers. He played the same arpeggios with his left hand, and the same melody with his right. He played with just as much skill and talent, but not the same emotion and meaning. He stopped in the middle of the piece, slamming his hands down on the piano, a dissonant clang of frustration roared from the strings.

            The sound rang through the small room until Jay finally let his hands up. He scratched the back of his head, irritated at himself. He jumped up and grabbed his guitar, swinging it around his shoulder. Without looking back, he burst out of the room and slammed the door closed behind him. He shook his head, trying to get the memories out of his head.

            He flashbacked to his nine year old self, sitting at the piano, his father standing over his shoulder.

"Again!"  He shouted. The little boy started playing the passage again but tripped up on the run.

"Again!" His father shouted. And again, he would play that one passage, and again he would trip up.

"Again! What's wrong with you?!" His father slapped the back of his head. "Do it right!" The boy jumped a little, and scratched the back of his head so it would stop hurting.  This went on for another hour until he finally got it right, and his father left him alone to practice for yet another hour.

            Jay scratched the back of his head, as if to scratch away the memories of his past. He couldn't stand playing the piano anymore. He hated it. Except when he was with Isabelle. "For some reason..." he thought, "she makes it alright."

____

            Jay sat on the couch in the dark room, flashing lights everywhere and music blasting out of the speakers. He laughed slightly as Da-ge and Taiyo had a rap battle on the karaoke machine, but Jay was too busy waiting for someone else to arrive to pay any more attention.

"Hey! Look who's here!" Lao Hu shouted above the music all of a sudden.

            Jay snapped to attention, his head whipping around to look at the door. There stood Karin in a sparkly silver, knee high dress, Hendrick in his usual nerdy attire, Evie in her usual sport wear, Raj in the same black sweatshirt and jeans he wore daily, and in the middle stood Isabelle. She wore a simple, form-fitting light pink dress that cut off just above her knees paired with a pair of black pumps. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a loose bun, uncovering her large eyes and beautifully structured face. Simple, yet stunning.

            Lao Hu, Loq, and Jay all stood up off the couch and walked over to where they stood. Da-ge and Taiyo paused the song and walked over too. Karin tossed her long, curled blonde hair over her should and sauntered over to Lao Hu, who put his arm around her and led her over to his spot on the couch. Jay couldn't keep his eyes off Isabelle as he took a step toward her, but out of nowhere a squealing scream stopped him.

"Ahhh!!! Everyone's here already!! So sorry I'm late!" Dressed in the shortest black cocktail dress and hot pink platform litas, Cera burst into the room and all but threw herself into Jay.

"Oh Jay!" She whined, "I'm so glad I get to see you now. Where did you go earlier today when I was looking for you?" She pouted her lips as she looked up at Jay who stood a little less than a foot taller than her, despite the high heels she wore. Jay looked down at her, dumfounded, not believing what she was doing. 

"Yeah Jay," Da-ge elbowed him, "she came to us complaining about how you ran away from her earlier. That's no way to treat the Chinese Princess." 

"Chinese Princess?"  Evie asked from next to Isabelle, whose eyes were fixed on Cera.

"She's only the most popular actress in Chinese dramas! Every one she's been in has been a top hit!" Da-ge mooned over her. Cera just flicked her short bouncy hair with her hand, a "I'm totally a big deal" look on her face.

"Never mind Chinese Princess." Lao Hu added from his place on the couch, "That's no way to treat your girlfriend!" He added a wink at him. Jay's eyes were burning with anger now. Cera, on the other hand, was jumping with delight.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Jay shouted.

"You're not fooling anybody." Taiyo patted his shoulder and lifted an eyebrow. Jay shrugged his hand off violently, glaring as he did. Then he realized it, Isabelle was still standing there, watching him. His eyes darted up to look at her. She was eyeing Cera, but looked up suddenly to meet his eyes. Just as suddenly she looked away, clearly avoiding his gaze. She took a deep breath and looked up again, this time at Loq. She smiled a weak smile and walked over to him, letting him put his arm around her shoulder and lead her to the couch to sit next to Karin and Lao Hu.

            Evie followed Raj, looking over his shoulder at the manga he was reading. They sat in a far off corner, silently flipping through the pages, where Evie would stop Raj from flipping the page every once in a while and he would roll his eyes impatiently, but never said anything. Hendrick, feeling awkward, adjusted his bowtie and seated himself on the couch, deciding to clean his large rimmed glasses. Da-ge and Taiyo picked the microphones up and began "singing" again, giving their audience a hilarious show. 

            The couch was a square shape but with an open end, covered in some kind of fake purple leather. Jay slowly dragged his feet to the couch, Cera clinging onto his arm. He sat down on the left part of the couch, directly across from Hendrick on the right side. He cast a quick glance to his left to look at Isabelle. Seeing her sitting under Loq's arm and laughing happily made Jay angry, if not...jealous.

            The night went on exactly like this. Evie and Raj didn't budge from the corner. After  finishing one manga, Raj would magically pull out another from his old torn up messenger bag that was bulging (undoubtedly with all the manga). Da-ge, Taiyo, and Lao Hu all took turns on the karaoke machine, entertaining everyone.  Cera spent the whole time snuggling up to Jay, and Jay spent the whole time stealing glances at Isabelle. All of a sudden Cera jumped up from the couch.

"I have a song I want to sing." She declared and skipped over to take the microphone from Da-ge. "It's a special song that's close to my heart, that I'm going to sing for a special someone who is also close to my heart." She made her googly eyes at Jay and did her annoying giggle. She turned around and scrolled through the songs on the machine for a second and selected a romantic sounding song.  She began swaying back and forth with the music.

"We were both young, when I first saw you...." She held the microphone in both hands and stared at Jay.

            Jay rolled his eyes and looked away. "I can't believe this is happening." He thought to himself. He sat back and tried to tune out the sound of her voice as he looked over at Isabelle for the millionth time. She was smiling like she had been all night, but her smile didn't reach her eyes and her mind didn't really seem to be paying attention to what was going on.

"It's a love story, baby just say, yes..." Cera sang, or in Jay's opinion yelled, into the microphone.

            Jay sighed and let his mind wander, trying to forget the mess he had made. He happened to look up straight in front of him, at Hendrick sitting on the side of the couch directly across from him.   "Who is he looking...at?" Jay followed Hendrick's gaze and found himself looking at Isabelle. "Why is he staring at her?! What's his problem?" Jay's eyes darted back and forth between Isabelle and Hendrick. Hendrick was stealing glances and staring any moment he could, a sad look in his eyes, just like Jay had been doing all night. "He couldn't possibly..." Jay sat up straight on the couch, observing Hendrick intensely now. Sure enough, Isabelle noticed something and turned her head toward Hendrick, who immediately whipped his head around to look in the other direction, but Jay could see, even in the dim light, that his face was turning red.

            Cera had stopped singing and everyone clapped, except Jay. He stood up and turned his back to her as he all but flew out of the room. He opened the door and escaped into the brightly lit hallway, feeling the cool air rush at him and the noise of the room fade, he let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't stand to be in that hot, dark, loud room anymore. He started walking down the hallway when he heard a voice shout at him.

"Wait!" Cera came running after him, her heels clicking on the floor loudly. "Why are you being like this? I just sang my heart out to you, and now you run away?!" She looked like she had tears in her eyes.

"I'm going home." Jay said curtly and turned around to leave again, but she caught onto his arm.

"Why do you have to be like this? I know you like me just as much as I like you! Just listen to me! We would make a great couple! I'm a famous actress, you're a rock star, what wouldn't be perfect for us?" Little tears began to trickle out of her eyes. Jay turned around and looked down at her, feeling a little sorry.

"Look, I don't know if a relationship is what I really want right now..." he started, trying to explain as nicely as he could, not wanting to make a bigger mess of things. But Cera just burst into tears and started ranting about how it was the perfect time! How they were the perfect couple! How there could be no more perfect situation! Jay couldn't take listening to her ranting, and happened to look over her head into the window of the room they had just left. There was a little crack in the curtain that covered the window from the inside. Right through that crack, Jay could see the back of Isabelle's head and the side of Loq's face. Playing the entire night through his head again, seeing how they laughed together and had enjoyed each other's company, he felt himself getting angry again.

"And...and that's why we shouldn't wait! We should just start dating now, it would be really beneficial for both our careers and..."Cera continued to jabber on, endlessly. Jay wanted to get out of there, and without thinking,

"FINE!" He shouted at her. "Fine. Whatever you want. I'm going home." He turned around and stormed out of the building. "So much for not making a bigger mess" he thought to himself.

Cera stood there alone in the hallway, frozen in shock.

"Oh my god." she whispered. All of a sudden a huge smile grew on her face and she ran as fast as she could back into the little karaoke room.

"Oh my god guys!" She yelled as loud as she could. Everyone turned to look at her. She ran to stand in front of everyone, and as she wiped her tears away, she laughed and hiccupped as she announced, "Me and Jay are officially dating!!" she jumped up and down squealing and fanning herself with her hands as the room cheered and congratulated her.

­­­____

            Jay threw open the glass door of the large apartment complex. He walked past the empty front desk and stopped in front of the elevators, furiously pressing the up button. The elevator let out a little "ding" as it opened for him. Just before he could step into it, something caught his eye. Directly across from the elevators was a door, slightly open. Jay had never noticed it before since it was usually closed. He slowly walked towards it and opened it wider. He found himself looking at a large concert hall filled with seats facing a large stage where a beautiful, black, grand piano stood. He noticed that he was coming in from a side door, and that the main entrance was on the other side.

"Looks like someone forgot to turn off the stage light."  He thought as he walked toward the brightly lit up stage. Thoughts of Isabelle, Cera, Loq, and Hendrick all swirled in a storm through his head as he walked onto the stage and took a seat at the piano. He didn't know what to do anymore, but all he could do at the moment, was just to place his hands on the piano and play the music he hated but somehow loved at the same time.

            Somehow, and he didn't know how, the notes he played and the sound that came out sounded familiar to him. The more he played, he realized what it was. He remembered the last year he had spent with Fenghuang. They had decided to compose their own piano piece. He had started writing the exposition and performed it for her in the center of a bustling square on a summer's night in Germany. He remembered how Fenghuang was a little upset that he had started composing without her, but she loved what he had written anyway. Jay let himself be lost in the memories and flashbacks of their childhood that the piece brought back to life. But all of a sudden, Jay stopped. He couldn't play anymore. There were no more notes to play. The unwritten music was replaced with silence, and the images of the past disappeared.  Jay stood up from the seat and turned to leave, a sadness hanging over him. As he looked up, he thought he was dreaming, but she was standing there, just as real as he was.

"Isabelle..." He whispered.

Isabelle just stood there. Eyes staring at Jay, mouth slightly open, betrayal written all over her face.