Dream High

Not so much about the drama, (which is pretty good, you should watch it), but I felt like we should talk about the aspect of friendship in it.

Go Hye Mi and Yoon Baek Hee are good friends (more like Baek Hee is the slave of Hye Mi because she admires and loves her so much). But one day, in a joint audition to a music school, Hye Mi betrays Baek Hee and says that she wants to be judged individually and not as a team. However, the judge picks Baek Hee as the winner. Totally betrayed, and finally realizing the one sided friendship, Baek Hee decides to eliminate Hye Mi from her life.

This brings me to my point: People's hearts are not sponges. You can't grab them when you need them, use them for all their worth, wring it out dry, and toss it back to the sink.

Remember that friends that truly care about you, care about every aspect and every part of you. They don't cherry pick what they want to be a part of and what they would rather not care about, especially not out of self interest. Friends that truly care about you make sacrifices for you. They do what you want, even if they don't want to, because they want you to be happy. They'll think of you, they'll consider you, and accommodate you because they care about what you think, feel, and go through. If you hurt, they hurt. If you bleed, they bleed. If you smile, they smile.

That is why it is one of the worst feelings in the world is when a person doesn't receive this same kind of friendship back from the one they give it to.

Then, it's time to do what Baek Hee did. Walk away. Don't be someone elses sponge. It's hard, and difficult to go through, but remember it's time to be the flower in the garden because no one comes to look at the weeds.

No Game No Life

An anime I watched recently and thoroughly enjoyed. It's about these siblings who are absolute geniuses. They center this genius power, and their entire lives, around gaming. So they get sucked into a computer and into a different universe where everything is decided through games. Naturally, they win every single game because as a team, this brother and sister duo is unbeatable.

Just to get this out of the way: it has an awesome story line, very clever, (a little too much fanservice), and the art is pretty good. Watch it.

Now, to get to what I really wanted to write about. There is a memorable line that they said several times that really stuck with me (definition of memorable duh). "Every game is won before it even begins." That is how this brother and sister duo are able to defeat every opponent: they research, study, calculate, prepare, so that they ultimately win the game before it has even begun.

There is always someone out there who has already won the game. They have already calculated all the angles and sides. The equations have been solved. X has been found. Before the timer even moves past the zero mark. Whether it's a game of, "who can get the highest score on the physics exam" or a literal game of rock paper scissors, someone has already claimed the winning slot.

This seems unfair.  What about everyone else? Nothing is fair. But who is that someone? There is no exclusion to who that someone is.  Because anyone: you or I...

Can be that someone who wins every game before it even begins.

Episode 16: Tonight, I'll be Crooked

Episode 16

Nothing lasts forever. In the end, you changed. There is no reason, no sincerity. Take away such a  thing as love. Tonight, I'll be crooked. Leave me alone, I was alone anyway. I have no one, everything is meaningless. Take away the sugar-coated comfort. Tonight, I'll be crooked.

            Isabelle hung up her phone. She didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, but Jay kept calling and texting.

"Let's go to the coffee shop! Want to have a jam session with us? Come over and eat with us at least." Jay was desperate to get Isabelle out of her room, but no matter what he came up with, she wasn't interested.

            Isabelle sat at her desk, leaning on her hand, staring blankly at the pitcher of water on her desk. It was nearly empty, and a drop of water hung onto the tip of the pitcher, dangling dangerously, threatening to drop onto the wooden desk.  "I wonder when I'll fall. When what little I've managed to become just, falls and disappears." She thought to herself. "Why should I even practice if nothing's going to come of it? All my effort, will be, meaningless."

"Isabelle! Are you in there?!" A loud knocking made her jump out of her chair. "It's me, Hendrick! Open up! Hurry!" Isabelle jumped up to open the door to find Hendrick all dressed up in a black tux and black bowtie. His hair smoothed down, and his glasses shining clean.

"Wow. You look...normal." Isabelle admired. "Where's your usual quirky attire?" Hendrick smiled mischievously and pulled up his pant legs to reveal his unmatched neon socks. Isabelle chuckled.

"So I know someone who got me these tickets." He pulled out two tickets from his pocket. "And it looks like they're for a Yundi Li concert where he plays...Chopin." He raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for the response. Isabelle's eyes lit up.

"How did you get those? When is it?!" 

Hendrick looked down at his suit and raised his arms as if to present himself.

"Tonight?!" Isabelle found herself growing with excitement.

"More specifically..." Hendrick checked his shiny watch. "...in 20 minutes."

"20 minutes?!" Isabelle looked down at her tank top and sweat pants, trying to fix her messy hair. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? It looks like you had enough time to get ready!"

"Well..." Hendrick said sheepishly, "I was afraid if I gave you more time, you might think about it too much and decide not to go..."

"Well what would you do if I decided I wouldn't go right now? Simply because I don't have enough time to get ready?"  Isabelle tried acting angry.

"So...does that mean you're not going...or..." Hendrick asked slowly. Isabelle tried looking angry, but gave up.

"No, of course I'm going. Give me a minute." With that she closed the door in his face and frantically undressed and pulled out a dress from her closet. Hendrick stood outside with stupid grin on his face, dancing on his toes with excitement.

A couple minutes later Isabelle burst from her room and grabbed Hendrick by the arm.

"Hurry! We're going to be late!"

"Wait!! Aren't you going to lock your door..."

But Isabelle was dragging him along, her long pink dress flowing behind her. They jumped into the elevator, and as it finally opened in the lobby, they dashed outside. They hailed a taxi and went full speed ahead to the concert hall.

They arrived in front of the large concert hall ten minutes later. Most of the crowd had gone it, except for a few people. They hurried up the steps and into the building. Hendrick pulled her into the concert hall. Thousands of people filled the room, facing a majestic stage. On the stage sat a large orchestra and in the middle, a beautiful, black piano, the white keys shining under the stage lights. Hendrick lead her further and further to the front. There they found two empty seats in the fifth row.

"How did you get seats so close?" Isabelle asked as they sat down.

"I have some connections." Hendrick smiled brightly at her. Isabelle felt her heart jump a little at his smile, and quickly turned away to face the stage.

The lights dimmed, and a spotlight formed as the director stepped onto the stage and took his place at the podium. The audience applauded loudly. The director gave a short introduction, before the spot light shifted to the edge of the stage, and Yundi Li emerged. The audience thundered with excitement and eagerness. He took his place at the piano and nodded to the director. Then with one movement of his baton, the orchestra burst into life.

Isabelle became lost in everything. Somehow all the problems and worries she had where nowhere to be found. She listened to the magic of the orchestra and the piano and found inspiration. She found motivation, and more importantly, strength. The roaring applause of the audience woke her up from her trance, and she watched as Yundi Li stood on the stage, taking a bow.  "I want to be someone who inspires the audience like that." Isabelle thought.

"That's where I want to be." Isabelle said. Hendrick gently took her hand in his, and leaning in close so she could hear him,

"Me too."

 Isabelle gently squeezed his hand, finding comfort in him that she never expected. They stood up and began following the crowd out of the concert hall. As they stepped outside into the lobby area, they began seeing stares and fingers pointing at them.

"Isn't that Isabelle Young? That daughter of Yang Chun Hwa?"

"Who's that guy she's with? I thought she was dating some rock, or pop star whatever?"

Isabelle felt her stomach plummet to the ground. Hendrick grabbed a hold of her hand and began pulling her toward the exit.

"Wait! Isabelle! Wait! Say something for the camera!" A reporter had seen them and camera flashes began erupting. Hendrick quickly hailed a taxi that was already stopped there.

"Come on, get it." Hendrick helped Isabelle into the cab, and jumped in after her. The reporters ran up to the cab as it began pulling away. "That was a close one." Hendrick sighed and leaned back into the seat. Isabelle felt the magic of the performance ebb away as the problems of her real world came flooding back.

The cab pulled up in front of their music building. Holding onto Hendrick's arm, they walked into the lobby and took the elevator up. They stepped out into the 8th floor common room and were greeted by the voice of a loud reporter, and Jay pacing back and forth. Isabelle nervously stepped out of the elevator and dropped her hold on Hendrick's arm. Jay whipped around to look at Isabelle. He hurried over to her and put his hand on her shoulders.

"Where have you been? Why did you go out without telling me? What's he doing here?" Jay looked coldy over at Hendrick.

"We just went to a concert." Hendrick said just as coldy, returning Jay's glare.

"I thought you said you didn't want to do anything?" Jay asked Isabelle. Isabelle couldn't look at him, she just shrugged his hands off her shoulders and turned to hurry back to her room.

"What did you do?!" Jay turned angrily to Hendrick. Hendrick straightened up, the same height as jay he looked him right in the eye.

"Why? Is she your girlfriend?"

"Yeah! She is!"

"Oh really? Did she say that herself? Or are you just assuming that?" Jay broke off his glare first, looking after Isabelle. "That's what I thought." Hendrick turned and began walking away, but Jay stopped him, slamming his hand into Hendrick's shoulder. They locked eyes again, glaring coldly and angrily at each other. Then all of a sudden they heard a crying scream. Jay and Hendrick jumped into action and bolted down the hallway.

Isabelle's door was open, and she was sitting on the ground, her pink dress in a puddle around her. Tears streaming down her face as she stared at her room. Hendrick and Jay came to a skidding halt behind and stared in disbelief at her room. All her papers and music books were torn and strewn all over the room. Everything on her desk was in a broken pile on the ground. The sheets on her bed, the clothes in her closet, all of her belongings were in a state of ruin.

"Who did this?!" Jay shouted, and turned to Hendrick.

"Why would I know?!! Isabelle, are you ok?"

Looking at her destroyed room, Isabelle felt just as broken as her things. Her friends were angry enough at her to ruin her belongings. She could hear Hendrick and Jay trying to talk to her, trying to lift her off the ground, but she didn't want to stand up.

"Come on Isabelle," Jay put her arm over his shoulders and started lifting, "We'll make them pay for this. They can't get away with doing something like this." Isabelle wanted to shout at him, wanted to tell him that's not what she wanted.

"Isabelle, can you hear me?" Hendrick held onto her hand. "I'll talk to them with you ok? I'll make them listen to what you have to say. This is all an accident."  She wanted to hold onto him, to tell him to help her, but Jay pulled her into the room, and closed the door, leaving Hendrick standing there helplessly.

"Here, sit down." Jay set Isabelle down on her bed. "Here have some water. It's like the only thing they didn't knock over." Jay reached for the water pitcher on the desk and picked up the toppled over mug. He poured her some water and handed it to her. Isabelle took the water and swallowed a large mouthful, trying to stop her sobbing and hiccupping.

"It was probably Karin." Jay sat down next to her. "She seemed the most angry. You want me to go get her? She's right down the hall right?"  Isabelle shook her head and finished off the mug of water.

"No. I don't want to...do accuse her."

"Why?! It has to be her! Who else would think to do this?!" Jay exclaimed. But Isabelle's eyes were glued on the water pitcher.

"What?" Jay looked over at the pitcher. "What's wrong?"

"That pitcher..." Isabelle felt her fingers loosening from around the mug. "It's full."

"Yeah...? I guess she was nice enough not to spill water all over your room." Jay picked up the pitcher and looked at it more closely, sniffing it.

"It...was empty...when I ...left." Isabelle dropped the mug to the ground, unable to move her hands.

"Isabelle?" Jay started panicking.  Isabelle saw her room spinning around her, her throat burning as if on fire. Her stomach seemed to scream in place of her throat. Then everything went dark.

Jay watched in shock as Isabelle slid from the bed to the ground and began shaking. He dropped to her side and tried holding her still, screaming for her to talk to him. Her eyes were open, but she wasn't seeing anything.

"Help!! Someone help!" Jay screamed for someone, and held Isabelle in his arms as she started to stop shaking. Tears rolled down Jay's face as Isabelle looked up at him with a lifeless stare. Hendrick burst into the room and as soon as he saw her, burst into action. He whipped out his phone and called an ambulance.

Jay ran down the hallway, Isabelle dangling unconscious from his arms. Hendrick called the elevator and ran out of the building with Jay. The ambulance pulled up as they came out and the medics pulled out a stretcher. Placing Isabelle on the stretcher, Jay leapt into the back of the ambulance after her, Hendrick right behind him. The ambulance speed through the city, and pulled up in front of the hospital.

In a frantic rush, Isabelle was pushed into the building and into a room. Jay and Hendrick watched, their noses pushed up against the glass as nurses and doctors crowded in.

"We need to pump her stomach! Hurry!"  They pushed a tube down her throat and began to drain her stomach.

For what seemed like days, the room finally began to clear out and Jay and Hendrick  rushed in.

"What happened? Is she ok?" Jay shouted at the nurses.  The nurses looked solemnly at each other.

"Someone tell me what's going on!!" Jay shook a nurse by her shoulders.

"She's had arsenic poisoning. She drank a lot of it, someone had to have put it in the water, it's not natural. We did what we could, but it was a lot of poisoning. She had a seizure, and is in a coma right now, and we don't know if...if she's going to be ok."  A nurse spoke quietly and nervously. Jay let his arms drop down to his side, his face completely blank, his whole body in shock. Hendrick was kneeling at the side of the bed, holding onto Isabelle's hand, head hanging down toward the ground. Isabelle just lay there. Eyes closed. Oblivious to the pain, heartache, and love that surrounded her in the room.

_____

"Where am I?" Isabelle looked around her, but all she could see was a white fog. 

"Fenghuang? Is that you?" A woman's voice came from somewhere in the fog. Isabelle looked around frantically. Then out of the fog a woman dressed in light blue gown stepped out, a look of worry on her face.

"Mom? Mom!!" Isabelle started running toward her, but no matter how hard she tried, the ground seemed to be made of sand that held her in place, dragging her downward. The woman reached an arm out to her.

"Stay still." She said, "You're in a coma. You can't move." The woman seemed to drift closer until she was in front of Isabelle.

"Mom, what are you talking about? I'm...oh..." the memory came flooding back, drinking the water, the pain, everything becoming dark.

"She was just jealous. Don't hate her too much." Isabelle's mom reached for Isabelle's hand, but her own hand passed through like it was nothing more than a cloud of smoke.

"Who? Who did this? Where are we? Am I here forever? Mom, tell me!" Isabelle tried to touch her, but her arms went through the smoky image of her mother.

"We're in the in-between land, between earth and the heavens. I felt you come here, and came down to meet you. But don't worry, you won't be here for long."  

"What do you mean? But I want to stay here with you! " Isabelle felt herself crying, but there weren't any tears on her face.

"There's people waiting for you to go back.  Don't do what I did and leave them behind." Her mom's face became sad suddenly. "I'm sorry I didn't go back. Unlike you, I didn't have very long to stay here, I didn't have any time to make a decision, and...it was too late." A small silvery tear rolled down her cheek. "You can stay here for as long as you like though. As long as your physical body is ok, you consciousness can stay here until you're ready." She tried to smile again.

"Ready for what?" Isabelle asked quietly.

"Ready to go back. Or, move on."  Isabelle became excited again.

"You mean, I can choose to stay with you?!"

"Sure. If that's what you want." The smoky figure of her mom seemed to ripple like a puddle of water. "I have to go soon. I can't visit here for long."

"How do I choose? Who do I tell?" Isabelle began to panic as the image of her mom began to ripple even more, distorting the image.

"Let the sand, or the clouds take you." And with that, the image was gone.

Isabelle could feel the sand around her ankles, keeping her grounded to earth. She lifted her hands, trying to feel the foggy clouds, but they couldn't be grasped.

"Where do I go from here?" She knelt down and hugged her knees. "I want to be with my mom again, but I also want to be with..."

"Isabelle!" A voice rang in the distance.

"Hendrick!" Isabelle jumped up and searched for the dorky boy with glasses. "Hendrick where are you? What are you doing here?" But there was no sight of Hendrick.

"Isabelle! Can you hear me?" The voice came again, seeming to come from beneath her.

"Yes! Hendrick! I can hear you! Where are you?!" Isabelle tried getting as close to the ground as possible to hear him.

"I don't know if you can hear me but..." Hendrick's voice echoed in the fog. "If you're in there...can you like, squeeze me hand or something? Please? Let me know you can hear me."

"I...I can hear you Hendrick!" Isabelle shouted. "But how do I...how do I squeeze...I can't!" Isabelle moved her hand in a squeezing motion, but she couldn't feel his hand.

"If you can hear me..." Hendrick continued, "Just know that I'm always here. It's been a month now...but I'll still come every day. I promise." The sound of his voice rang through the emptiness Isabelle stood in.

"A month? I've been here a month?" Isabelle began to realize that every minute she spent in the in-between, was an entire day back on earth. "I want to go back." She thought. But then she looked upward, "But...my mom. Maybe my dad? I won't have to be sad over my friends anymore. I won't have to deal with the stupid paparazzi..." She started to feel lighter, as if the fog was lifting her up. She felt lost in her imagination, of what it would be like to be free of all her worries. But then the voice came again.

"Isabelle! No!! Isabelle please don't go! Don't leave me. Please." Isabelle jumped at the sound of Hendrick's shouting voice. She looked down and realized she was high above the ground now. She had let the clouds lift her up without realizing it.

"Wait! No...I...I can't!" Isabelle struggled against the clouds keeping her afloat. "Hendrick! I...I have to go back. Please." She finally felt her feet submerge into the sand again. She knew that even though there would be trouble and heartache, she still had a lot to do.

She closed her eyes and thought of Hendrick. Thought of her dreams, and what the music had said to her. Slowly, she felt the sand pulling her down, creeping up her leg, past her knees, up to her hips, and engulfed her.

______

"Oh my god. Isabelle!" Evie grabbed the door handle about to open the car door.

"No!" A hand reached over and grabbed her arm stopping her.

"But she's...is she ok?" Evie watched as the ambulance put Isabelle on a stretched and pushed her into the back, Jay and Hendrick jumping in after her.

"Why do you care? This is what we wanted!"

"But I...I..." Evie flashed back to a moment a week ago. She saw herself standing next to Raj, at his makeshift laboratory in his room, pouring chemicals into tubes and stirring beakers on a hot plate.

"So what's that you're mixing into the water?"  Evie peered over his shoulder.

"This is arsenic. It's colorless, odorless, and can be very fatal if taken too much. But, I'm working on a theory, that maybe in small amounts, it could potentially kill cancer cells in patients, while causing minimal, reversible damage on healthy cells." Raj swished the tube a little and set it aside.

"What would happen if someone were to...drink it?" Evie eyed the large stock of arsenic he kept in his storage box.

"Well, if taken in an extremely large dose...it would probably kill someone.  Or make them really sick. Depends how much  you give them really."

Evie returned to the present as the ambulance lights flashed as it drove by her.

"What have I done?" Evie looked down at her hands.

"Don't worry. You only messed up her room a bit. I'm the one who actually mixed it in. Besides, she deserves it. After taking away what we both wanted. They all need to be taught a lesson. Now get out of my car before anyone sees us together."

"But..Cera...I have to tell someone..."

"No! Evie, listen to me, don't tell anyone. Or else it's over for your music career, and over for my acting career. Got it?! And I won't hesitate to do the same to you if you decide to betray me. I'm much more famous and powerful than you, I can make anything happen. Understand?"

Evie nodded, terrified.

"Good. Get out."

Evie frantically opened the door and rushed out, hurrying toward the building and dashing inside.

"No one messes with Cera Chan." Cera flipped her hair over her shoulder, turned on the car, and drove away. 

Tonight, I'll be crooked.

~Evie

Episode 15: All Alone

Recapitulation: Winter Continued

The real name of love is definitely hatred. Hope is the parent of disappointment and despair. Misunderstanding is always the cause of pain.

"Why did you... how could you...do you know what's going to happen?!"

"I'm sorry, calm down. I can handle this."

"No you can't! Didn't I tell you everything? Why would you still do this?!" Isabelle dropped into the couch, not able to stand any longer.

"It'll be fine." Jay sat down next to her trying to comfort her. "Maybe they won't look into it that much and won't find out." 

            In a small, private back room, Jay, Isabelle, Uncle Chin, and Chin Lu waited. They waited for some brilliant idea to strike them as to what they should do. The paparazzi raged outside the little room.

"Find out what?!" Chin Lu's angry voice boomed. "Are you hiding something else?" Isabelle took a deep breath. I have to tell them, she thought. Maybe they can help me. Without looking them in the eyes, she told them.

"That's great. That's just great. As if Jay kissing you in public isn't enough trouble to deal with" Chin Lu threw his hands in the air. "Chin Ye, this is your problem. I'll take care of Jay. The paparazzi is bound to find out sooner or later about Isabelle though. I'd say you'd have one day at most before it leaks out. Are you prepared for this?" Isabelle began to feel terrified.

"No. No they can't. Please. Isn't there anything you can do? Call them? Talk to them?" she started to panic. She needed a chance to tell Evie, Karin, everyone. She didn't want them to know she had been lying to them. She didn't want them to be angry.

"It's not that easy..."Uncle Chin looked the most serious Isabelle had ever seen him. "Why did you decide not to tell anyone? Why the secrecy?"

Isabelle knew that everyone would be asking her this now, but she didn't quite know how to answer it yet.

"Come on. Let's get out of here. We can think this through once we get back." Chin Lu turned to walk toward the door. Jay helped Isabelle off the couch, but Isabelle's mind wasn't thinking about him. All she could think about were her friends, hoping they would still accept her. And for some reason, she kept thinking of Hendrick, hoping that he would be ok.

Chin Lu slowly opened the door, and Isabelle braced herself for the cameras and shouting that would burst through. But the sound was much different than they expected. There were no shouts for Jay. There was no demand to know why he did what he had just done on stage. He seemed to be invisible. There were only shouts for,

"Isabelle! Isabelle! Over here! Is it true your real name is Yang Fenghuang?"

"Is it true you're the daughter of previously famous classical pianist Yang Chun Hwa?"

"Why have you been hiding under an alias? How come you haven't come forth to the public?"

Isabelle felt her heart drop into her guts. They already knew. She felt her knees grow weak as the shouts and accusations towards her grew louder and louder.

_____

"Oh my god. Karin, Raj, Hendrick. Come over here. Look at this." Evie turned up the volume on the tv and an attractive American news reporter started speaking.

"This New Years eve has brought much more exciting news in the Chinese music industry than this entire past year. Here we see rock star sensation Jay, who was brought to a conference regarding his discrepancies, confirming our suspicions about his cheating on actress Cera Chan. At today's press conference he openly admitted his relationship with classical musician, Isabelle Young, was more than a close friendship, showing his love for her with a sensual kiss for the reporters at the conference. However, this has not proven to be the most shocking news yet. This kiss naturally raised a panic amongst the reporters and many investigators leapt into action to figure out, who exactly is Isabelle Young? And our efforts have been fruitful. Isabelle Young, once known as Yang Fenghuang before her adoption by her grandparents from the United States, is the daughter of Yang Chun Hwa, well known, world-wide, classical pianist before her early death at the age of 35 from a brain aneurysm. At the time of her death, all that was released about the child left behind was the adoption by her grandparents and departure from China. Now she has resurfaced as Isabelle Young, and is following in her mother's footsteps as a classical pianist. Will she be able to become as rich and famous as her mother was? But an even more jolting question, why did she keep her heritage a secret for the past year that she had returned? Thank you for watching Hot Topic news. This is..." Evie turned the TV off, and turned to look at her friends.

"Did you guys know?" She asked, voice shaking. Everyone silently shook their heads. "Why didn't she tell us? Yang Chun Hwa is her mom?!! I grew up listening to her music recordings and watching her concerts and reruns on tv! And Isabelle is..." Evie felt a tingling of jealousy start to creep through her body.

"She vanted to use zat as an advantage! She vanted to vait until our final performance, and tell everyone, and zen everyone vould love her and vant her to succeed." Karin said angrily, "She sinks she can beat us with her mothzers name."

"I don't think that's what she was going to do." Hendrick tried to calm down Karin and Evie who were starting to bicker about Isabelle. "She must have a reason for not telling us."

"What reason could she have? We were her friends! Why couldn't she tell us?!" Evie's voice was strained, trying to hold in her need to yell.

"She probably doesn't want all this publicity..." Hendrick tried.

"I have to try zo hard to get here," Karin said darkly, eyes cast down at the floor, "And she gets all of zis attention and fame because of her mothzer. Uncle Chin probably know too. She probably uzed her mothzer's name to be here in ze first place."

"What are you talking about? We've all heard her play! She's amazing." Hendrick defended Isabelle, but Karin was walking away, not listening. "Evie, come on, I know she didn't mean to keep it a secret." But even Evie had stopped listening and strut out of the room. Turning desperately to Raj, Hendrick tried to plead with him. Raj only shrugged, a sad look in his eyes, but turned to follow Evie.

            Hendrick sighed and turned the TV back on. More pictures of Isabelle and her mother flashed across the news. "I'm here for you." Hendrick whispered as he flipped through channel after channel, finding the same news on every one.

______

            Karin dug furiously through a large box she kept in the back of her closet. Pulling out an old, dusty envelope, she sat down on the floor, leaning against a wall. She lifted the flap and pulled out the yellowed, aged Polaroid photo.  A little girl who looked just like Karin was smiling in the photo, with two people standing behind her, arms around her shoulders. "I must have only been three." Karin thought. This was the only photo she had with her parents where she was smiling. "It's before it all started." Karin slowly tucked the picture away, and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes, and letting herself go back in her past to her fourth birthday.

            "Happy birthday, Karin! Look what mommy and daddy got you!"  There stood a small, upright piano in the little family room. The keys were yellowed, the wood finish chipped, the bench too high and covered in a layer of dust, but to her parents the piano meant the world to them. They saved for it before Karin was even born. Now a little more than four years later, they spent everything they could to buy it. Even in its poor condition, the piano seemed to create a majestic atmosphere in the tiny, run-down house that Karin and her parents called home.

____

            "Can I go play now?" Karin sat on the piano bench, a pout on her lips. "You've only practiced for half an hour." Her mother said sternly. She sat in a chair placed right next to the piano and watched as Karin practiced every day. "But my teacher says since I'm only five I only have to do 30 minutes!" Karin stood up and started to leave. "Sit back down! I didn't say you could stop. You can stop when I say." Karin was frightened by her mother's glare and sat back down. She pulled her short, chin length blond curls behind her ears and put her small hands back on the keys.

______

"Can I be finished now?" Karin flipped her shoulder length hair behind her. "Your teacher told me you need at least two hours of practice every day before you can perform with the older kids." Her mother said casually, not looking up from her knitting. "But why can't I play with other 7 year olds?" Karin whined. "Because you're better than other 7 year olds!" Her mother snapped, giving her the usual glare that sent Karin back to practicing.

______

"Do I have to change teachers?" Karin played with the ends of her hair the stretched down to her elbows. With her usual cold glare her mom snapped, "Do you want to learn from an amateur forever? We're taking you to a professional teacher. You're 10 now, you need to start improving or else it'll be too late for you."   "But can we even afford a professional teacher?"  "Barely. So you better not waste our money and disappoint us. Keep practicing."

_______

"What if I don't win?" Karin carefully brushed her waist-length hair back into a ponytail. "Do you want us to live like beggars for the rest of our lives?" Her mother stared fiercely into her eyes. "No..." "Then you have to win. You'll win a new piano, money, and most importantly, attention. You'll be in the newspapers, and soon we won't have to live here anymore. Look, we even bought you this pretty dress. Do you know how much we spent on it? Come on, let's go. You're going to win."

"Mom! Dad! I'm sorry! I did my best!! The other girl was older! She's been playing longer than me! Please, don't be angry. I practiced so hard! You know I did!" Tears streamed down from her blue eyes, running down her cheeks and neck.

"Who's dress do you think you're wearing?" Her father's voice boomed in their small living room. "Tell her to take it off and return it. I'm not spending any of my money on her." Shaking his head, a disgusted look on his face, he turned away from Karin as she dropped to the ground in a crying scream.

"Stand up!" Her mother screamed at her. When she didn't stand, her mother grabbed her long ponytail and dragged her to her feet and into her room. "Take off the dress!"

"Mom, I'm sorry. Please, I tried!" She sobbed as she unbutton her dress.

"You tried? We spend so much money for your lessons, for anything you want. I watch you practice, I go to all your lessons and recitals. What more do we have to do for you?!"

"I don't want you to watch me practice or go to my lessons! I don't want you to spend so much money on me!"

"Why?! So you can spend more money on your hair?" She grabbed Karin's ponytail in her fist and shook it, making Karin scream and cry even more. "You spend so much time brushing your hair, why don't you practice piano?! You think you can make money with pretty hair?!"

"Let go!" Karin tried wrestling out of her mom's hold but couldn't. Pulling her to the kitchen by her hair, her mother grabbed a pair of scissors out of the kitchen drawer. "No! Mom! Stop! Please no!"

"You don't want to practice? You don't want to play piano? You don't want to win? You want to be poor?!"

_____

"Happy birthday 13th birthday Karin." Karin whispered to herself as she tossed the long, severed ponytail into the fireplace. The hair sizzled up in a little puff of smoke, sending a repulsive smell into the hair. The sun had set and the street lights had turned on, the fire burned on, giving Karin a little light. Not wanting to waste electricity, she relied on the glow of the fire to practice. And so by the fire's light, she practice late into the night, not stopping to rest, not stopping to think, because if she had time to think, she might think she wanted to stop.

_____

"Congratulations, Karin. You're the youngest pianist, at the age of 16, to win this award. You'll be receiving a 2000 Euro prize, and a brand new grand piano. How are you feeling?"

"I...uh...I'm very happy I suppose.  I have worked very hard for this, so I'm happy it's paid off." Karin nervously tucked her short hair behind her ear, smiling uneasily at the cameras. The reporter continued blabbering into the microphone.

"Isn't this great?" Karin's mother marveled at the new apartment they were moving into. "Nothing's falling apart, there's a beautiful piano in the middle of the room." She sighed as she took in the view.

"I'm glad you're happy mom." Karin smiled weakly, a small smile was all she could muster these days.

"Happy?" Her mom's voice turned sour instantly. "You think I'm happy right now? I've merely been satisfied for the time being. I won't be happy until you're world famous and we live in one of those fancy penthouses in New York. What are you doing still standing there? The piano's been delivered here for two hours now, why aren't you practicing?"

______

Karin placed the envelope back into its place at the bottom of the box, under the pile of numerous newspaper clippings. Each one from a local, city, or even national newspaper. Her name seemed to shine out from the yellowing papers.

"I vork my entire life, starting from ze bottom to get here. And she...she instantly becomes famous because of her mothzer. She gets more attention than me becauze of her mothzer. No. I von't let her. I von't let her vin."

______

 "They just...don't know how to react is all." Jay put his arm over Isabelle's shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"They won't even come out to talk to me." small tears began rolling down Isabelle's cheeks.

"I wasn't trying to use my mom's fame to gain any attention...to gain anything! Why do they think I'm like that?"

"Because you're all competing against each other remember? Only a select few of you get invited to join the company. And they think you're going to use this as a way to get ahead of them and insure a spot for you." Jay stroked her hair, resting his cheek on the top of her head.

"What am I going to do?" Isabelle turned her head in toward Jay, wanting him to magically fix her problem.

"Let them think what they want. You know the truth, who cares what they think? Forget about them. Just go after your dream." He answered fiercely, his own past flashing through his head.

"I can't just do that!" Isabelle protested, slightly pulling away to look at Jay. "I want them to know the truth. I want them to understand. I can't just throw my friends away because they don't know what I'm going through!"

"Why do you care so much? If they really cared about you, they wouldn't ignore you like that. They've thrown you away!" Jay started getting angry, images of his father burned in his mind's eye.

"You don't understand. I'm not like you. I've already lost everyone important to me once in my life already. I don't want to lose anyone ever again. Especially not over a misunderstanding." Isabelle stood up and walked to her door, opening it for Jay to leave.

"Why can't you just let it go?" Jay stood up and faced her. "You'll be happier. You don't need anyone holding you back. I'm here for you. Taiyo, Da-ge, Lao Hu, we're all here for you. We know the truth, we're all you need."

"Jay, you have to stop comparing this situation to what happened with your father!" Isabelle couldn't help but shout a little. "Just because some relationships break or something difficult happens, doesn't mean you can just throw it away! Have you tried talking to your dad? Have  you tried fixing the problem? I know he still loves you, even if he's harsh, he still..."

"Don't talk about my father!" Jay shouted, his dark eyes seemed to ice over in anger as he stared down at Isabelle. "He disowned me. Took away my name, took away everything. All of our parents did. But we didn't need them. We had each other! Why can't you get that?!"  

Isabelle just shook her head. "No. You don't get it." Jay stared at her in disbelief for another moment and stormed out the door. Isabelle stood in the doorway, tearfully watching him leave. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to look back.

"Isabelle. You're not alone."

She couldn't answer. She looked out at Jay, the one person who knew her heart and loved it, but for some reason, she still felt the cold chill of being alone. Without another word, she turned and walked back into her room, quietly closing the door behind her, and leaning her back against it she slowly slid down to sit curled up on the ground, head on her knees.

 For what seemed like hours, but in reality only twenty minutes, a knock came on the door behind her. Jumping up in hope, she turned around to open it. Hendrick stood in front of her, a little out of breath, pushing his large glasses up, short sandy hair blown awry.

"Hendrick." Isabelle's voice cracked, trying not to sob at how happy she was that someone was speaking to her.

"Isabelle. I'm so sorry, I had to go out for a while. I heard...the news...I...you... are you ok?"  His brown eyes searched hers, filled with true worry and some tears. Isabelle couldn't hold back the tears anymore. They ran down her face, and she let out a small hiccup.

"Oh, no. Please. Please don't cry." Hendrick quickly pulled Isabelle into his arms and hugged her, letting her sob into his shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you for talking to me. It's not true, what they think. But they won't listen." She managed to say coherently. Hendrick gently pulled back a little to look Isabelle in the eye.

"Don't worry. We'll fix this. I'll help you clear it all up ok? I'm here for you. You're not alone."

Even though Isabelle barely knew Hendrick, the truth in his eyes and the strength of his arms made her believe. For some reason, for the first time in a long time, she finally felt like she wasn't alone.

Misunderstanding is always the cause of pain.
~Isabelle

Episode 14: Broken Pieces

Recapitulation: Winter Continued

            The blue ocean that the red sun used to wash its face turns black. The white sky that had clouds and snow and the wind turns gray. Even the cold shadow that covers the night starts to harden. If the ice melts, a warmer song should have come out. But why is it so cold?

            The door flung open, letting in the cold air of the stairwell. She couldn't run away faster. Her breathing strained as she climbed up two flights of stairs, fighting to keep down the scream that was dying to escape.

            She finally reached the door leading to the north tower, and made a beeline toward her room. But as the tears threatened to leak out of her burning eyes, she ran headfirst into someone going the other way. She stumbled into their arms, but couldn't bring herself to face who it was, not wanting to show the tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt their arms wrap around her and pull her close. Leaning against this stranger, she let herself cry.

_____

"What do you think you're doing?!" Jay growled furiously. He heard the door to the stairwell open as Isabelle ran away.

"It's not like you haven't done something like this with Isabelle already!" Cera sneered at him, only to realize he wasn't looking at her. Jay was glaring at Loq, who stood just as tall as him.

"If you've got a problem with me, let's settle it between us. Why do you have to hurt Isabelle?!" Jay stepped menacingly toward him, getting up in his face. Loq just smirked.

"Because nothing would hurt you more than to see her hurt. Am I right?" Loq stared right back at Jay, not backing up. Jay shoved him back with all his strength, making him stumble back into his room. Before he could regain his balance, Jay turned around and took off running down the hallway, picking up his jacket that Isabelle had dropped. He burst through the door and took off up the stairs; the only thing on his mind was Isabelle.

_____

"What happened?" he asked. Resting his cheek on top of her head as she sobbed into his shoulder. Isabelle snapped back into reality. Realizing she was crying into a stranger's shoulder she jumped back and stared at who was in front of her.

"It's ok. It's just me!" Hendrick held his hands up as if to surrender, a small comforting smile on his face.  Isabelle hurriedly wiped her cheeks and tried to smile.

"Sorry...um. I was just...leaving." She tried to walk past him, but he gently put his hand on her shoulder, firmly holding her in place.

"Please tell me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Isabelle shook his hand off and kept walking away.

"Why can't you be open with me? I want to help!" Hendrick pleaded with her.

"It's not easy being open." Isabelle grew irritated that he wouldn't leave her alone.

"Being closed is twice as hard." Hendrick walked slowly after her. Isabelle stopped and turned around to face him again, eyebrows furrowed, looking at him in confusion, confused about why he wanted to help her.

"It's easier to be closed than to seem weak." She answered, staring into Hendrick's chocolate brown eyes, trying to tell him to leave her alone with her mind.

 "You can trust me. I won't..."

"Isabelle!!!" They heard a door slam shut behind them. Before Isabelle could say anything, she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her in and holding her tight to his chest.

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. Please, don't let him make you like this. It's going to be ok. I promise." He pet her hair and kept talking, hoping to calm her down. Isabelle let herself relax in his arms.

"Jay." She whispered, breathing in his familiar scent.

"Yeah?" He said timidly, hoping she was ok.

"Let's go." Isabelle let Jay put his arm around her shoulder and pull her away. She felt better that Jay was there now, but her mind was still on Hendrick for some reason. She looked slightly over her shoulder and made eye contact with him again. He just stood there, a look of despair on his face.

             Jay noticed Isabelle looking back and turned to see what she was looking at. He saw Hendrick standing there, staring after them. He turned back around and pushed Isabelle forward a little faster. Jay knew the look on Hendrick's face all too well. He held Isabelle closer to him.

______

"I don't care what she says! She can go tell the press whatever she wants I don't give a..." Jay shouted into his cell phone. "I'm not going to apologize to her! I didn't do anything wrong! If anything, I can go tell the press about what she did and ruin HER career. Just...fix this somehow!" He hung up on his manager and threw his phone down on the bed. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a frustrated sigh.

            It had been a couple days after the party now, and Cera was raising a fuss in the press about how Jay had run off with some other girl during her birthday party, making her seem like the poor victim. Now the press wanted to hold a conference with Jay to clear things up and to start writing possibly the most juicy scandal of the year. Jay had been planning on taking Isabelle out to see and set off fireworks tomorrow for the new year, but he had to attend this stupid press conference. He kicked the rolling chair at his desk across the room, seething with anger. He picked up his cell phone again and pressed the first speed dial button.

"Hey. Are you busy tonight?" Jay played nervously with the silver cross necklace that dangled from his neck.

"Well I have rehearsal for our new year's performance tomorrow. But I think we'll be done by 9." Isabelle's voice came through his phone.

"Great! Meet me out on the balcony on the 6th floor ok?"

"Why?"

"I have something to show you. Just come right after your rehearsal ok?"

"Ok..."

"Great. See you then." He hung up the phone and fist pumped the air. He quickly pressed the second speed dial and his manager Max picked up.

"Hey, Max, where can I buy fireworks? Don't ask me why, just tell me where. Where? Oh yeah I know where that's at. Ok, thanks. It's none of your business what I'm going to do with them. Just figure out how to get me out of that press conference tomorrow. Bye." He grabbed his jacket off his bed and dashed out of his room.

______

            Hendrick lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, replaying the scene over and over in his mind. Every time he remembers how Isabelle pushed herself away from him, but let Jay comfort her, his heart sank. Deeper and deeper, Hendrick sank. "Why can't she see me?" He sighed. He looked at the time on the digital clock on his bed stand. "It's 5:30 already. Better get ready for rehearsal" He thought.

            He got out of bed drearily and opened his closet. A long row of long sleeve button up shirts lined his closet. A large clear box of bowties sat on the floor and several shelves of khaki shorts, nicely folded into stacks. He slowly got dressed in front of the floor length mirror that was part of the closet door. Slowly pulling on his button up shirt, he watched as his sleeves disappeared under the long sleeves of his shirt, and the words on his chest disappear as he button the buttons as high as they went. He put on a bowtie and smoothed down his collar. He picked up his large thick rimmed glasses and put them on, the normal glass lenses leaving his vision unchanged. He picked up his violin case, opened his door, and left. Leaving his dark room, curtains drawn tightly shut, bed unmade, balls of crumpled up paper strewn across the floor.  

_____

"Wonderful! Splendid! So beautiful!" Uncle Chin applauded and blew kisses to the girl who had just finished playing Schumann's Carnaval Op.9. Isabelle was entranced the entire time, amazed at the talent present in the musicians of the music company. 

            All the musicians of the CY music company were seated in the concert hall, and one by one, everyone took their turn on the stage to practice performing their piece for the new year's concert the following evening. The small group of Uncle Chin's protégés, or "trainees" as everyone called them, sat in a little group off to the side. Isabelle felt her arms grow numb as they neared the end of the rehearsal. The trainee group was scheduled to perform last, as a sample of the musicians that could possibly officially join the prestigious CY music company upon completion of training.

"Fantastic! Now, the program calls for the first musician from our trainee group. Raj, if you would honor us with your presence on stage." Uncle Chin made his usual silly exaggerated speech and motions toward the stage.

             Raj carried his cello on stage and bowed as the "audience" applauded. He slowly sat down, and lifted his arms in the air, gently resting the bow on the strings, and began. His eyes nearly closed in concentration as he played Bach's Cello suite No.1 in G, his head moving in unison with the melody. As he finished the prelude, he lifted his bow in a brief pause, creating a tense anticipation before he started the allemande. He allowed the same brief pause and anticipation before the courante and before the remaining three parts of the suite, not faltering for a single moment.

            Isabelle always loved listening to Raj play, but she knew that it would be her turn after him, and she was afraid that it would be clearly noticed if she couldn't match his talent and expertise. Finally, Raj stood up, took a bow and left the stage.

"Bravo! Bravo! Let's see, uh Isabelle! Please." Uncle Chin waved enthusiastically at her as she nervously made her way on stage. Sitting down at the piano, she took a moment to get into the zone, and then let her fingers free onto the keys. Striking the keys with precision and perfected technique, she played the Brahms Paganini Variations. Jumping back and forth, skipping to and fro, her hands seemed to dance all across the keyboard, but then suddenly transitioned to a more calm, smooth, and dark melody.

            As she finally came to an end, she began to come out of her zone, aware once more that there was an audience. She ended the piece on a strong, fierce, and powerful minor chord, sending the sound ringing through the concert hall even after she had let go of the keys. The audience broke into applause as she stood up and took a bow. She looked at the audience, her fellow musicians, and smiled, feeling a little closer to reaching her goal of surpassing her mother.

            Evie performed after her, and then Karin. Both performed wonderfully, but Isabelle was more intent on hearing Hendrick play. She had heard him perform before, but for this new year's performance, he had chosen an interesting piece. Hendrick walked confidently onto the stage and lifted his violin, taking a deep breath. Immediately he burst into a fast, furious minor race against time. As she watched Hendrick's jaw dropping technique, Isabelle flashbacked to the day they had announced their performance pieces.

            Hendrick had announced he would be playing The Erlking by Shubert. No one else had a second thought about it until Karin brought it up.

"Zat is originally a poem by German poet Goethe, no? Shubert decided to write ze piece based on zis poem, Der Erlkönig. It iz a very sad story."

"What's it about?" Isabelle asked.

"Zere is a fazer travelling wiz hiz zon. But ze zon is sick, and sees and hears ze Erlkönig calling out to him, trying to take him avay. Ze fazer say, no there is no Erlkönig, only ze wind, only ze trees. But ze zon is too sick, and ze Erlkönig takes him avay. When ze fazer arrive at ze home, ze zon is dead." 

"Hendrick seems so happy all the time." Evie thought out loud, "Why would he choose to play a piece written for such a sad story?"

"He probably didn't choose it because of the story." Isabelle rationalized.

"Yes, ze music is very intense and amazing. Very difficult to play" Karin added.

            Now, as Isabelle watched Hendrick perform, she realized why he had chosen that piece. Shubert had written the piece to match the poem, and just like the poem, the music had four voices as well. Isabelle listened and watched in awe. She knew that it was a very difficult piece because the player has to express four voices on a monophonic instrument, but Hendrick was able to do it with ease. The high pitched, fearful voice of the young boy, the low, worried voice of the father, the mid-range of the narrator, and the sudden changes into sweet, enticing melody was the voice of the Erlking, all the while playing triplets of repeated octaves that simulated a horse's galloping.

            As Hendrick neared the end, he sped up even faster, until the very last line when the music slowed and quieted. Hendrick paused for a split second before furiously sliding his bow on the strings and drawing out the intense sound before abruptly cutting it off, signaling the end of the wicked story.

            Everyone in the concert hall was amazed. They burst out into applause and whispers circulated through the crowd.

"I bet he's not going to be a trainee for long."

"He'll definitely be able to join the music company."

"How is he still a trainee? He shouldn't be in the trainee part of the program. He should be in the main performances with us!"

            Isabelle clapped enthusiastically, in complete awe of his performance, looking up at Hendrick as he took a bow. Hendrick slowly straightened up, and as he looked out at his audience, his gaze landed directly on Isabelle. Meeting his eyes, Isabelle gasped a little. It was the first time she was actually paying attention and noticing Hendrick, seeing the depth and mystery in his eyes that she had never seen before. They held their eye contact in silence while the applause sounded around them; Hendrick was the first to break away as he walked off the stage.

            The applause quieted and everyone stood up to leave, glad that the rehearsal was finally over. Isabelle started making her way over to where Hendrick was putting his violin back in its case. As she approached, Hendrick looked up to see her walking closer. He straightened up, his mind raced furiously, trying to think of what to say to Isabelle.

            Isabelle opened her mouth to call out to Hendrick when her phone buzzed in her hand. Looking down, she saw a message from Jay.

"It's ten past 9 now. Are you done? Hurry up and come to the balcony."  Isabelle read the message and looked back up at Hendrick who was still looking at her. Giving him a small smile and two thumbs up, she quickly waved good bye, and hurried out of the concert hall, texting a response to Jay.

            Hendrick watched as Isabelle turned and dashed out. He was used to the feeling of his heart sinking now. He went back to putting away his violin and putting on a smile as Uncle Chin and everyone else came to talk and compliment him.

_____

"What's taking her so long?" Jay paced back and forth on the balcony, casting a glance every now and then over at the brown bag on a small nearby table. He heard the sound of the door behind him open.

"Hey. I'm here." Isabelle tentatively walked onto the balcony.

"Finally! Alright. Ok. Yeah, um, right here. Stand right here." Jay jumped with excitement as he ushered her to the railing of the balcony, having her look out over the city lights.

"What is it?" Isabelle laughed, jogging a little in place to keep warm in the cold winter night.  Jay pulled out a box of sparklers from the brown bag and lit them with his lighter. The thin stick burst into green sparks, sizzling as it burned. He walked behind Isabelle and handed her one.

"Oh wow! You went and bought sparklers?" Isabelle took the stick as the green sparks burst into the air, one after another.

"Not just sparklers." Jay pointed his sparkler toward the bag on the table. Isabelle went over and looked in the bag and gasped.

"No way! You got all of these? Seriously? Are we going to light them all?" she turned toward Jay, excitement shining in her eyes. Jay smiled a little.

"If you want to." 

"Can we?!" Isabelle grabbed a box from the bag, looking at it eagerly, trying to figure out what it was.

"I forgot how much you used to love fireworks." Jay laughed as he took the box from her hands, looking for the tab to open it.

"Of course you remember!" Isabelle had on the widest smile. "We would always set them off on New Year's. We go out and buy a ton and tried to set off as many at the same time as we could!" She no longer felt cold as the warm memories came rushing back.

            Jay and Isabelle opened all the boxes of sparklers and lit them all at the same time, holding them in bundles in each hand, waving them around off the side of the balcony. Within minutes, the air around them was full of smoke. They began to set off the actual fireworks, watching them burst into vibrant colors in the dark sky, laughing, singing, and screaming into the night. Not long after they started, fireworks from across the city began shooting up into the sky as well, creating a brilliant show.

"Well, that was the last one." Jay crumpled up the empty bag, the empty boxes scattered across the table.

"That was really fun." Isabelle stood at the edge of the balcony, watching the sky as others lit up their own fireworks. Jay leaned on his folded arms on the balcony rail.

"Yeah, it was." He paused for a second, his voice growing a little sadder. "Actually, I was hoping we could do this tomorrow night. You know, for the actual new year. But...I have the press conference tomorrow... and...I...I don't know what's going to happen. I might not be able to do anything for a while afterwards." He looked down at his hands, wishing that this mess would just go away. Isabelle turned to face him.

"I'm sorry. It's because of me. You've been spending too much time with me and naturally, Cera would feel lonely..." before she could finish, Jay wordlessly put his hand on the sides of her head, pulling her in closer. He put his lips to her forehead, holding her there, trying to communicate to her as best he could,

 "If I got the time back, I would spend it with you all over again."  Gently pulling her head back, he looked down into her eyes. Isabelle didn't know what to say, but more frightening to her was that she didn't know what to feel. She could only smile at him, but on the inside, were broken pieces of emotions that couldn't piece themselves together.

______

            Uncle Chin (Chin Ye)  sat calmly at the table, looking across at Jay and Isabelle seated on the other side. His brother Chin Lu was pacing back and forth. Isabelle was looking down at the table, silently repenting. Jay was clutching his fists, silently cursing Loq.

"It's all Loq's fault!" Jay burst out, breaking the tense silence. Chin Lu stopped pacing and glared at Jay. He unfurled the magazine in his hand and slammed it down on the table, causing Isabelle to flinch.

"It's his fault? It's his fault you were messing around with some other girl?" Chin Lu spat at Jay.

"Now, now." Uncle Chin said calmly, "She's not 'some other girl'. She's Isabelle. Now I'm sure there's some misunderstanding. Isabelle and Jay have been best friends since they were children, they were just..." Chin Lu cut him off before he could finish,

"Best friends? Does this look like that to you?!" He shook the magazine on the table. Isabelle looked at the cover and cringed. There she was, standing there on the cover, with Jay holding her head in his hands and kissing her forehead, and in large red words, "Who's that girl?"

"I'm telling you, it's Loq! He was sneaking around last night and wanted to stir up trouble!" Jay jumped out of his seat.

"Sit down!" Chin Lu barked at him. Jay violently kicked his chair, and decided to sit back down. "I don't care who took the picture right now. We can deal with that later. The problem is, you have a press conference in an hour. What are you going to do?" Chin Lu quieted down, but his voice still seethed with anger. Jay didn't answer. Sighing with frustration, Chin Lu took a seat.

"Alright, here's what's going to happen." He folded his hands and stared straight into Jay's eyes. "I'm going to write a script for you. Follow it. You're going to apologize for leaving Cera alone at her birthday party. You're going to apologize for this misunderstanding of being with another girl. You're going to say you've been going through tough times as an artist and have made some bad decisions. You're going to ask for forgiveness, and say that you'll never do it again. Understood?!" Chin Lu stared at Jay without blinking. Jay simply nodded, not saying a word.

"And you." Chin Lu turned his burning gaze to Isabelle. "You're going to go too. You're going to go up there, and say it's all a misunderstanding and that you don't mean to ruin Jay's relationship with Cera. You're going to apologize and ask for forgiveness." Isabelle couldn't bring herself to look directly at him, so she wordlessly nodded too.

"Good." Chin Lu stood up again. "Let's get going."

            Isabelle waited in a car for half an hour when she finally saw Jay and Chin Lu walk out of the building. She watched as Jay climbed into the car parked in front of hers and Chin Lu came and opened her door.

"Here, practice this on the way." Chin Lu handed her a couple note cards and slammed the car door shut, walking to Jay's car and getting in. Isabelle's driver started up the engine, and following Jay's car in front, they left for the conference.

            Isabelle practiced reading the note cards the entire way, hands sweating, fidgeting all the while. As the car stopped in front of a tall skyscraper building, someone opened her door and held out a hand to help her out. She stepped out nervously and was all but attacked with a flood of cameras and flashes. The next several minutes happened so quickly, it seemed to happen as fast as the flashes of the cameras.

            Jay was pulled through the paparazzi by Chin Lu, and Isabelle was pushed along behind him.  They found themselves in a large room filled with chairs and tables facing a small stage with a podium and microphone. Isabelle clutched the note cards in her hands as she sat in a seat in the first row and looked over at Jay positioning himself in front of the podium. Chin Lu took the microphone from the stand on the podium and spoke into it, quieting the crowd.

"Thank you for coming today. We know you're all very busy and want to be with your families for the New Year, so we're going to be very brief. Jay would like to apologize to everyone. And Isabelle Young, an accidental victim of this misunderstanding, would like to apologize as well." Chin Lu replaced the microphone on the stand on the podium and nodded at Jay to start. Jay nervously fidgeted with the microphone and cleared his throat.

"Thanks for coming..." he started off quietly. The cameras' flashes were the only sound in the otherwise deadly quiet room. "I'd like to um...apologize...for..." he looked down at his note cards, reading the list of what he's apologizing for. "...for...um...everything." he gave up on trying to read off the list. "I want to apologize to Cera...for leaving her alone at her birthday party....and about the recent magazine photo published this morning..." Jay scratched the back of his head, letting out a frustrated sigh, "...it's not what it seems...The person in the picture with me....is just a very good friend...who..."  Jay stopped. He ran his hand through his hair and looked down at the front row of seats.

            Isabelle looked up at Jay with worry as he stopped and sighed with frustration.  Then when Jay made eye contact with her, she knew what he was going to do. "No." she mouthed, shaking her head. "Don't do this." She thought as hard as she could.

"No." Jay spoke again. "It is exactly as it seems." The crowd started to mumble. Jay jumped off the stage and grabbed Isabelle's wrist. Isabelle couldn't believe he was doing it. He pulled her up onto the stage and turned her around to face the crowd.

"This is Isabelle Young. We've been best friends since we could remember, and now...now..." Jay turned to look at Isabelle, "I see her more than that." Everyone seemed to gasp in unison. Turning back to the crowd, he spoke confidently. "I'm sorry for causing all this trouble. I'm especially sorry to Cera. But this is the truth. Isabelle... is the truth." The crowd and cameras went wild. People jumping up and asking questions, reporters holding out their microphones. Angry shouting from every corner of the room. Ignoring the chaos around them, Jay turned to Isabelle again and looked into her scared eyes.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. "But I love you."  Jay put his hand behind her head, pulled her in close, and kissed her like her lips were made of air and he couldn't breathe.

If the ice melts, a warmer song should have come out. But why is it so cold?
~Isabelle

Episode 13: Running Away

Recapitulation: Winter

            A couple blissful months have passed in peace, and now the snow begins to fall, welcoming the last month of the year. Isabelle has rejoined Jay and their crew in their adventures through the city and music sessions in the practice rooms. They had never felt as happy and carefree in years as they had in those couple months. But as the vibrant colors of fall drained from the leaves and skies, leaving a dull brown and gray behind, the carefree, playful nature that filled the days of the five musicians would also come to fade. The crisp air outside seemed to disappear with the wind as the cold burning gusts of winter set in.

            Jay shivered as he stepped out into the cold, pulling his jacket collar up to cover his face. He saw his driver in his van right in front, and hurried over. He climbed in and shut the door as fast as he could, letting out a sigh of relief as he settled in the warmth of the van.

"There you are!"  A perky voice shouted in his ear. Jay jumped in surprise as he turned to see Cera sitting in the seat next to him, wrapped up in a fur coat, looking at him with a disapproving frown.

"What are you doing in my van?!" Jay said, eyes wide, exasperated.

"Why have you been avoiding me?!" Cera shouted, pouting her lips.

"What are you doing in my van?!" Jay still couldn't get over the fact that she just decided to get in his van whenever she felt like it.

"I'm your girlfriend! Why can't I sit in your van? You let Isabelle ride in it! Why can 't I? Why is she so special?!" Cera was clearly frustrated, her short bouncy hair flew about her head as she shook it angrily.

"Wait, what? Is this about Isabelle again? I've told you we're friends! We've been best friends ever since we were kids. So calm down! And...get out of my van. I'm busy, I've got places to go."

Cera scoffed in disbelief, "You did not just tell me to get out! I can't believe you. Who is this Isabelle anyway? Best friend since you were kids? I don't remember her being around until this past spring! She's from the United States, how could you have possibly known her before?"

"Wait, have you been looking up stuff on her? You need to stop. Come on, get out." Jay opened the door on her side and a rush of cold air came in.

"How can you treat me like this! It's almost my birthday, and you're being so mean!" Cera started sobbing. "You weren't even planning on celebrating my birthday were you? I...I don't know why you hate spending time with me so much. Everyone loves us as a couple!" The waterworks began. Jay closed the door again and sat back, sighing. He couldn't stand making a girl cry.

"Alright, alright. I'll plan you a nice party ok? When is it? Next week?"

"What?! You don't even know when my birthday is?!" She squeaked in between her tears.

"I...I..uh..." Jay didn't know what to say to that, "I do...I just...you know...It's um..." He tried to remember. "December....uh...15?"

"No!" Cera bawled. "It's the 28th!" She reached into her bag and pulled out a mini pack of tissues.

"I knew that!" Jay tried to sound excited, "I'll have an awesome party planned for you ok? A big one! Everyone will be there, and the press will have a field day! Anything you want, just tell me ok? I'll make it happen."

"Really?" Cera stopped crying, dabbing her face with a tissue.

"Really." Jay forced a smile. Cera's face lit up brighter than the sun and she threw her arms around Jay, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you Jay! I love you so much." She smiled and looked up into his eyes.

"Alright. Now I really have somewhere to be and I have tons of work to do." He said as nicely as he could, avoiding her gaze.

"Ok. I'll see you when you get home tonight then." She kissed him on the cheek and stepped out of the van, waving to him with a big smile on her face before she closed it. As soon as the door closed, Jay's smile vanished and he relaxed back onto the seat.

"Come on Max, I'm already late." His driver looked back at him in the rear view mirror with a smile.

"She's a handful isn't she?" He started the van and turned on the blinker, pulling into traffic. Jay wiped his cheek with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Max, about that party I promised her."

"Yes?"

"Take care of it will you?"

"I had a feeling I would be doing that." Max chuckled, very amused. Jay leaned his head against the window, his usual cold expression staring out at the streets that flew by. A little ding sounded somewhere in his pocket. Without much interest, he pulled out his phone from his pocket at looked at the message. It was from Isabelle.

"Thought you might get hungry. I put a boiled egg in the front pocket of your guitar case. You're welcome."

Jay smiled at this, chuckling a little bit.

"Isabelle?" Max asked from the front.

"No." Jay said, trying to keep a straight face. Max pushed his thick round glasses further up his nose and chuckled to himself. He had been Jay's driver for far too long to not be able to tell when he was lying. Jay looked back down at his phone and quickly typed a reply,

"Who are you, my mother? How's your repressed love life doing?"

Laughing quietly to himself at his cleverness he leaned his head back on the window. In less than ten seconds his phone dinged again. He eagerly picked up his phone and read the response.

"I don't know. How's your girlfriend's nagging problem doing?" That wiped Jay's wicked smile off his face. He threw his phone down. Darn, she got me. He thought. Angry that he couldn't think of a better comeback. He unzipped the front pocket of his guitar case, and sure enough found a large white egg. He picked it up and smiled at it, turning it around in his fingers.

            They reached the recording studio and Jay hurried into the building and found the usual room they recorded in. Da-ge, Taiyo, Lao Hu, and Loq were already sitting around waiting for him.

"Hey sorry I'm late." Jay walked in, still playing with the egg in his hand. "Got held up by Cera."

"Be careful talking about her like that." Loq said, standing up and slowly walking toward Jay. "Some people might find out that you don't actually like her." He stared coldly in Jay's eyes. Jay stared right back, confused as to why Loq was confronting him like this.

"What's it to you?" He threw back, just as coldly. Loq just smirked and looked down at the egg in Jay's hand.

"You going to eat this?" He snatched the egg out of Jay's hand. "Hope you don't mind, but I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast." Loq took the egg over to a desk nearby and set the egg on it.

"I actually was going to eat it. It's mine." Jay felt protective over the egg that Isabelle gave him.

"Well Isabelle's mine, but you don't seem to mind taking her for yourself." Loq revealed his thoughts. Jay inhaled sharply, shocked at Loq's sudden attack. Still staring at Jay, Loq positioned his hand over the egg and squished it into the table. There was a cracking sound and Loq jumped a little. Jay looked over at the egg and saw the raw white and yolk running down the table and coating Loq's hand in the goo. There was a brief moment of silence and Jay let out a laugh. Jay flung his hand to cover his mouth and try and stifle the laugh, but as Loq turned around and glared at Jay with his deadly, piercing eyes, Jay couldn't help but laugh harder. Loq tried shaking the goo from his hand and angrily flung the smashed egg shells off the table onto the floor. He stormed out of the room, purposely shoving Jay aside with his shoulder as he left.

            Jay tried biting his finger to keep his laughter down. Good job Isabelle. He thought to himself. Even though the egg was meant for him, he couldn't be angry. He made his way into the sound proof room and Taiyo, Lao Hu, and Da-ge followed him in. Jay took out his guitar and plugged it into the amp. He then realized how everyone else had been silent the whole time.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Jay raised an eyebrow at them. Taiyo let out a loud sigh.

"Jay...look. I know...we know, that you have more history with Isabelle than all of us, but...come on. You spend more time with her than your girlfriend. If you like her more than a friend, just say so. Stop playing games with Cera. That's all." Taiyo let out another deep breath and turned to take his place behind the keyboard.    

            Jay couldn't say anything. He stared at the ground, the smile completely gone from his face. Lao Hu changed the subject and tried livening the mood. For the entire recording session, Jay felt Taiyo's words pressing on his conscience. He knew in his heart that he loved Isabelle, and he knew that she loved him too. But he had stupidly gotten himself involved with Cera. If he were to break things off with her now, it might ruin his image, and if Cera was angry enough, she might even try to ruin his career.

            Jay's mind wandered all over the place as they practiced in the recording studio. He relied on his finger memory to strum the right strings and his subconscious mind to sing the words. His conscious self sat back and observed the whirlwind of emotions and problems that this past year had brought.

­­______

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A couple weeks and tons of party hype later.

"I vill be zere soon. I am trying to vind Lao Hu, and zen ve vill go to ze party. Tell Izabelle not to vorry." Karin hung up the phone with Evie and opened the door connecting the middle section of the building to the south tower. She walked down the hallway towards Lao Hu's room. She was dressed in a dark blue gown with sparkles. The gown had a sweetheart neckline and was form fitting all the way down to the knees until it flowed loosely to the floor. Carrying her black fur coat over her arm, she shuffled down the hallway and stopped in front of Lao Hu's room. Knocking loudly she called to him,

"Vat are you doing? Cera's party haz already started! Ve should go now!" She heard some noise inside and listened carefully. She heard some loud giggling and running around. She heard a girl squealing and Lao Hu laughing. Karin threw the door open and stormed in.

"Vat iz going on?" Karin stood there, watching as a short Chinese girl was loosening Lao Hu's tie and undoing the buttons. Lao Hu's head whipped around to look at Karin,

"Oh, Karin. Well I keep telling her not to do this but..."He didn't look the least bit apologetic, "She's so persistent." He looked back at the girl clinging onto his shirt, smiling mischievously. Karin scoffed and walked over angrily. she pulled the girl by her hair and dragged her off Lao Hu's shirt.

"You, get out!" Karin pushed and pulled the protesting girl out of the room and slammed the door in her face. Turning around angrily to face Lao Hu she shouted,

"Vat are you doing? Vhy do you have ze strange girl in your room?!" Her long blond curls shook as she yelled angrily.

"We are just having fun!" Lao Hu said, shrugging his shoulder. "We aren't really dating, so why do you care so much what I do?" 

"So you do zis kind of zing all ze time? I am just anozer one of zem?"

Lao Hu just shrugged again. Karin let out an exasperated sigh.

"Mein Gott! Glaub ich nicht!" She turned around and stormed out of the room, ranting in German, "Ich bin verruckt! Du bist ein Arsch! Geh zum Holle! Ich kann das nicht mehr machen!"

She took the elevator down and stormed through the lobby and out into the cold snow outside, profanities flying out in German all the while. She flung on her black fur coat and strutted to the black limo that waited for her out front.  She opened the door and slid in, sitting next to Evie.

"There you are! That took a while. Where's Lao Hu?" Evie asked.

"He von't be coming vis us. Let's go." She said to the driver. The limo started and pulled away from the curb. Karin looked around the limo at everyone. Isabelle looked at her, clearly concerned. Da-ge, Taiyo, and Loq were discussing what happened. Hendrick and Raj weren't paying attention, absorbed in some computer game Raj had on his laptop.

"Isn't Jay coming vis us?" Karin asked. Trying to avoid explaining what happened.

"Oh he's coming in a separate car, with Cera." Isabelle answered. "But Karin, what happened? You don't look so good." Karin sighed and gave in, telling them what had just happened.

            Everyone tried consoling her, but Karin didn't need it.

"I am fine. Let's have a good time at ze party." She put on her dazzling smile and the limo pulled up to a large hotel.

            There were tons of other cars pulling up, letting the guests out onto a bright red carpet leading up to an extravagant party.

"We're a little late aren't we?" Evie said, as they stepped out of the limo, greeted by the tons of people lined up on the sides of the red carpet.

"Not too late." Taiyo spoke up, "Everyone's still waiting for Cera and Jay to get here. Let's go wait up at the top." The little group made their way up the stairs and stood at the entrance to the hotel. They stood there chatting for a little while when all of a sudden a loud commotion broke out. The paparazzi whipped out the cameras and rushed down toward the black Mercedes that pulled up. 

            Jay stepped out of the car and looked around at the crowd and cameras, smiling as the flashes came one right after another. He wore a light blue suit with a black bowtie, his platinum blond hair slicked back. The black roots of his hair showed enough to help keep his rock star look even though he was cleaned up in a suit. He turned around and held out his hand for Cera, and as she stepped out, the camera flashes seemed to explode in a frenzy. Her long silk dress was a matching light blue color that dipped in the back all the way down to her lower back. The dress hid her white platform heels, but even with those on, she barely came up to Jay's shoulder.

            Isabelle watched as the two slowly walked up the stairs, the paparazzi jumping around them. As she looked at Jay, he noticed and looked up to meet her eyes. He smiled at her, and she returned it. Isabelle looked next to him at Cera and wished that it was her standing there next to Jay. But she knew that that couldn't happen. Jay already had his career, he was already well known, but she was only just starting her career, working on making it in the music world on her own. There wouldn't be any way for them to be together. Isabelle just had a feeling, that even though they were the closest person in each other's lives, that they're being together wasn't meant to be.

            The birthday party was one of the most extravagant parties Isabelle had ever been to. Even though she grew up in Los Angeles and had been to a fair amount of big house parties, she had never been to a celebrity party before, and this one was absolutely fabulous. Everything was shimmering with deep blues and sea greens, and all the people were dressed according to the theme as well.

            Jay looked around the crowded party searching for her. The reporters and paparazzi had dragged Cera away and Jay was able to escape their clutches. He pushed his way through the crowd dancing to the pop music that blasted the speakers. He finally pushed himself free from the suffocating crowd and came to a clearing. Directly in front of him, a short distance away, was a tall, dazzling angel. He stared at Isabelle's light sea green dress that had a high collar flowery lace cut and flowed out into a twirling skirt around her knees. He couldn't keep his eyes off her as he slowly walked toward her. Isabelle looked up and saw him walking over and a large smile blossomed on her face.

"Having fun?" Jay asked, smiling back at her, with his lips and his eyes.

"More or less." She replied, eyeing his slightly ridiculous light blue suit. Jay rolled his eyes at her, and took her hand in his.

"Well let's spice things up." He nodded to his friends and the others in the little group and pulled Isabelle away.

"Where are we going?" Isabelle laughed as he pulled her through the crowd of people out of the hotel. Ducking behind potted plants and bushes, he pulled her along without saying anything. Finally once they were on the street, they took off jogging away from the party. Isabelle laughed as they jogged through the streets, feeling a rush of excitement. They came to stop  in front of a tall skyscraper building.

"Where... is... this?" Isabelle said in between breaths. Jay looked up at the towering building.

"The tallest building in the city." Before getting a chance to finish catching her breath, Jay pulled her into the building. He quickly pulled her through a side door before the people at the front desk could notice them. They found themselves in the stairwell. Jay began skipping up the steps.

"Wait, are we going all the way up to the top?!" Isabelle protested.

"Yeah! Come on!" Jay disappeared up the stairs. Sighing, but smiling at how even though they had been apart for so long, some things still the same. She took off her high heels and ran up the stairs barefoot.

"Wait for me!" She called after him. She followed the sound of his footsteps in the distance. After what seemed like an unending staircase, she heard a door open and close, Jay's footsteps disappearing. She finally reached the top and threw open the door, running out onto the roof of the building. Breathing hard, she looked up and gasped as she saw the view.

            The towers and skyscrapers of the city lit up the night, the sea of lights stretching for miles into the distance. A cold breeze blew through her hair, making her shiver. Jay stepped behind her and hugged her, not letting her go, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"We would come up here all the time." Jay said, "We thought if we could see the whole city from here, we could find you." They stood there admiring the view for a moment in silence. Jay slowly turned Isabelle around, hands on her shoulders, looking down into her eyes.

"Will you promise, you won't leave me again?"

            As Isabelle looked up at Jay, she felt her heart ache. She loved him more than she could put into words, but the love she had for him was for some reason, not enough. She couldn't bring herself to say it, but she knew that wouldn't be able to keep that promise. She knew that one day, she would have to leave again, for good.

            Jay bent down and leaned in closer. Isabelle could feel his breath on her lips as he got closer. She closed her eyes, holding her breath. Just as his lips lightly touched hers, Isabelle took a step back, slowly opening her eyes.

"It's not fair." She said quietly. Jay rolled his eyes,

"You know I don't feel that way for Cera! And Loq...he...he doesn't..."  

Isabelle put her arms around his neck and hugged him, eyes tearing up. He slowly wrapped his arms around her too. "That's not what I meant." Isabelle thought, as she blinked the tears away before they could roll down her cheek. Pulling away, she looked back at him,

"Come on, let's go back." She started walking back to the door and opened it.

"Wait...but I..."

"I'll race you down the stairs!" Isabelle smiled, challenging him. And of course, he couldn't refuse. He dashed toward the door and Isabelle sprang to action as well. They dashed down the stairs, jumping down steps when they could, it felt as though they were flying down the stairwell. They made it out of the building laughing and gasping for breath again. Isabelle started walking in the direction of the party they had left, but Jay took her arm and pulled her in the other direction.

"Let's go back to the dorms. I have something to show you."

"What is it?" Isabelle jumped on one foot as she put her shoes back on.

"I wrote a song. I want you to be the first one to hear it." He smiled that breathtaking half smile.

            They walked slowly through the streets, talking about nothing in particular but enjoying every second. Isabelle shivered, feeling very underdressed to be walking around in a dress in the cold December night. Jay noticed and immediately unbuttoned the jacket of his suit and put it over Isabelle's shoulders. She pulled the front of the jacket together and snuggled into the warmth of the jacket. She reached an arm out and tucked it through Jay's, hoping to keep him warm by being closer.

_____

"I must have left my guitar in my room. Come on." They left the practice room and opened the door connecting the middle section to the south tower.

"I've never been in the south tower before." Isabelle said as they walked down the halls decorated with tons of posters of famous rock and roll musicians.

"We've got better taste don't we?" Jay said teasingly.

"Psh. As if." Isabelle pushed him lightly. They made their way to the sixth floor and as soon as they stepped into the hallway they heard loud laughing and squealing. Isabelle looked at Jay, and he just shrugged, not knowing who it could be.

"This floor is just me and the guys...Maybe Lao Hu's got some girl over." They walked further down the hallway and the sounds got louder. Jay stopped in front of his room and opened the door. But before he could walk in, he stopped, standing still. He whipped around, Isabelle looked at him confused.

"Lao Hu's room is the last one down the hall." He whispered. He stepped around Isabelle and looked at the door right across from his, a deadly anger building in his eyes. He pounded on the door.

"Open up!" He shouted as he kept pounding on the door with his fist. The sounds stopped and a girl's giggling could be heard. All of a sudden the door opened slightly, and there stood Loq, wearing nothing but a sheet wrapped around his waist.

"What the hell are you..." Jay started angrily, but before he could finish the door opened wider as someone else came to stand next to Loq.

"Oh, Jay, what are you doing back so early?" Cera said sarcastically, holding onto the sheet wrapped around her. She snaked her arm around Loq's waist and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I thought you and Isabelle would be out for longer."

Jay clenched his fists, his blood starting to boil, about to throw a punch. But he heard someone running down the hall. He turned around and saw Isabelle running back the way they came, rounding the corner to the elevator, his jacket around her shoulders fallen to the floor. Cera watched after her, smirking as the running footsteps faded away.