Episode 14: Broken Pieces

Recapitulation: Winter Continued

            The blue ocean that the red sun used to wash its face turns black. The white sky that had clouds and snow and the wind turns gray. Even the cold shadow that covers the night starts to harden. If the ice melts, a warmer song should have come out. But why is it so cold?

            The door flung open, letting in the cold air of the stairwell. She couldn't run away faster. Her breathing strained as she climbed up two flights of stairs, fighting to keep down the scream that was dying to escape.

            She finally reached the door leading to the north tower, and made a beeline toward her room. But as the tears threatened to leak out of her burning eyes, she ran headfirst into someone going the other way. She stumbled into their arms, but couldn't bring herself to face who it was, not wanting to show the tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt their arms wrap around her and pull her close. Leaning against this stranger, she let herself cry.

_____

"What do you think you're doing?!" Jay growled furiously. He heard the door to the stairwell open as Isabelle ran away.

"It's not like you haven't done something like this with Isabelle already!" Cera sneered at him, only to realize he wasn't looking at her. Jay was glaring at Loq, who stood just as tall as him.

"If you've got a problem with me, let's settle it between us. Why do you have to hurt Isabelle?!" Jay stepped menacingly toward him, getting up in his face. Loq just smirked.

"Because nothing would hurt you more than to see her hurt. Am I right?" Loq stared right back at Jay, not backing up. Jay shoved him back with all his strength, making him stumble back into his room. Before he could regain his balance, Jay turned around and took off running down the hallway, picking up his jacket that Isabelle had dropped. He burst through the door and took off up the stairs; the only thing on his mind was Isabelle.

_____

"What happened?" he asked. Resting his cheek on top of her head as she sobbed into his shoulder. Isabelle snapped back into reality. Realizing she was crying into a stranger's shoulder she jumped back and stared at who was in front of her.

"It's ok. It's just me!" Hendrick held his hands up as if to surrender, a small comforting smile on his face.  Isabelle hurriedly wiped her cheeks and tried to smile.

"Sorry...um. I was just...leaving." She tried to walk past him, but he gently put his hand on her shoulder, firmly holding her in place.

"Please tell me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Isabelle shook his hand off and kept walking away.

"Why can't you be open with me? I want to help!" Hendrick pleaded with her.

"It's not easy being open." Isabelle grew irritated that he wouldn't leave her alone.

"Being closed is twice as hard." Hendrick walked slowly after her. Isabelle stopped and turned around to face him again, eyebrows furrowed, looking at him in confusion, confused about why he wanted to help her.

"It's easier to be closed than to seem weak." She answered, staring into Hendrick's chocolate brown eyes, trying to tell him to leave her alone with her mind.

 "You can trust me. I won't..."

"Isabelle!!!" They heard a door slam shut behind them. Before Isabelle could say anything, she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her in and holding her tight to his chest.

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. Please, don't let him make you like this. It's going to be ok. I promise." He pet her hair and kept talking, hoping to calm her down. Isabelle let herself relax in his arms.

"Jay." She whispered, breathing in his familiar scent.

"Yeah?" He said timidly, hoping she was ok.

"Let's go." Isabelle let Jay put his arm around her shoulder and pull her away. She felt better that Jay was there now, but her mind was still on Hendrick for some reason. She looked slightly over her shoulder and made eye contact with him again. He just stood there, a look of despair on his face.

             Jay noticed Isabelle looking back and turned to see what she was looking at. He saw Hendrick standing there, staring after them. He turned back around and pushed Isabelle forward a little faster. Jay knew the look on Hendrick's face all too well. He held Isabelle closer to him.

______

"I don't care what she says! She can go tell the press whatever she wants I don't give a..." Jay shouted into his cell phone. "I'm not going to apologize to her! I didn't do anything wrong! If anything, I can go tell the press about what she did and ruin HER career. Just...fix this somehow!" He hung up on his manager and threw his phone down on the bed. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a frustrated sigh.

            It had been a couple days after the party now, and Cera was raising a fuss in the press about how Jay had run off with some other girl during her birthday party, making her seem like the poor victim. Now the press wanted to hold a conference with Jay to clear things up and to start writing possibly the most juicy scandal of the year. Jay had been planning on taking Isabelle out to see and set off fireworks tomorrow for the new year, but he had to attend this stupid press conference. He kicked the rolling chair at his desk across the room, seething with anger. He picked up his cell phone again and pressed the first speed dial button.

"Hey. Are you busy tonight?" Jay played nervously with the silver cross necklace that dangled from his neck.

"Well I have rehearsal for our new year's performance tomorrow. But I think we'll be done by 9." Isabelle's voice came through his phone.

"Great! Meet me out on the balcony on the 6th floor ok?"

"Why?"

"I have something to show you. Just come right after your rehearsal ok?"

"Ok..."

"Great. See you then." He hung up the phone and fist pumped the air. He quickly pressed the second speed dial and his manager Max picked up.

"Hey, Max, where can I buy fireworks? Don't ask me why, just tell me where. Where? Oh yeah I know where that's at. Ok, thanks. It's none of your business what I'm going to do with them. Just figure out how to get me out of that press conference tomorrow. Bye." He grabbed his jacket off his bed and dashed out of his room.

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            Hendrick lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, replaying the scene over and over in his mind. Every time he remembers how Isabelle pushed herself away from him, but let Jay comfort her, his heart sank. Deeper and deeper, Hendrick sank. "Why can't she see me?" He sighed. He looked at the time on the digital clock on his bed stand. "It's 5:30 already. Better get ready for rehearsal" He thought.

            He got out of bed drearily and opened his closet. A long row of long sleeve button up shirts lined his closet. A large clear box of bowties sat on the floor and several shelves of khaki shorts, nicely folded into stacks. He slowly got dressed in front of the floor length mirror that was part of the closet door. Slowly pulling on his button up shirt, he watched as his sleeves disappeared under the long sleeves of his shirt, and the words on his chest disappear as he button the buttons as high as they went. He put on a bowtie and smoothed down his collar. He picked up his large thick rimmed glasses and put them on, the normal glass lenses leaving his vision unchanged. He picked up his violin case, opened his door, and left. Leaving his dark room, curtains drawn tightly shut, bed unmade, balls of crumpled up paper strewn across the floor.  

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"Wonderful! Splendid! So beautiful!" Uncle Chin applauded and blew kisses to the girl who had just finished playing Schumann's Carnaval Op.9. Isabelle was entranced the entire time, amazed at the talent present in the musicians of the music company. 

            All the musicians of the CY music company were seated in the concert hall, and one by one, everyone took their turn on the stage to practice performing their piece for the new year's concert the following evening. The small group of Uncle Chin's protégés, or "trainees" as everyone called them, sat in a little group off to the side. Isabelle felt her arms grow numb as they neared the end of the rehearsal. The trainee group was scheduled to perform last, as a sample of the musicians that could possibly officially join the prestigious CY music company upon completion of training.

"Fantastic! Now, the program calls for the first musician from our trainee group. Raj, if you would honor us with your presence on stage." Uncle Chin made his usual silly exaggerated speech and motions toward the stage.

             Raj carried his cello on stage and bowed as the "audience" applauded. He slowly sat down, and lifted his arms in the air, gently resting the bow on the strings, and began. His eyes nearly closed in concentration as he played Bach's Cello suite No.1 in G, his head moving in unison with the melody. As he finished the prelude, he lifted his bow in a brief pause, creating a tense anticipation before he started the allemande. He allowed the same brief pause and anticipation before the courante and before the remaining three parts of the suite, not faltering for a single moment.

            Isabelle always loved listening to Raj play, but she knew that it would be her turn after him, and she was afraid that it would be clearly noticed if she couldn't match his talent and expertise. Finally, Raj stood up, took a bow and left the stage.

"Bravo! Bravo! Let's see, uh Isabelle! Please." Uncle Chin waved enthusiastically at her as she nervously made her way on stage. Sitting down at the piano, she took a moment to get into the zone, and then let her fingers free onto the keys. Striking the keys with precision and perfected technique, she played the Brahms Paganini Variations. Jumping back and forth, skipping to and fro, her hands seemed to dance all across the keyboard, but then suddenly transitioned to a more calm, smooth, and dark melody.

            As she finally came to an end, she began to come out of her zone, aware once more that there was an audience. She ended the piece on a strong, fierce, and powerful minor chord, sending the sound ringing through the concert hall even after she had let go of the keys. The audience broke into applause as she stood up and took a bow. She looked at the audience, her fellow musicians, and smiled, feeling a little closer to reaching her goal of surpassing her mother.

            Evie performed after her, and then Karin. Both performed wonderfully, but Isabelle was more intent on hearing Hendrick play. She had heard him perform before, but for this new year's performance, he had chosen an interesting piece. Hendrick walked confidently onto the stage and lifted his violin, taking a deep breath. Immediately he burst into a fast, furious minor race against time. As she watched Hendrick's jaw dropping technique, Isabelle flashbacked to the day they had announced their performance pieces.

            Hendrick had announced he would be playing The Erlking by Shubert. No one else had a second thought about it until Karin brought it up.

"Zat is originally a poem by German poet Goethe, no? Shubert decided to write ze piece based on zis poem, Der Erlkönig. It iz a very sad story."

"What's it about?" Isabelle asked.

"Zere is a fazer travelling wiz hiz zon. But ze zon is sick, and sees and hears ze Erlkönig calling out to him, trying to take him avay. Ze fazer say, no there is no Erlkönig, only ze wind, only ze trees. But ze zon is too sick, and ze Erlkönig takes him avay. When ze fazer arrive at ze home, ze zon is dead." 

"Hendrick seems so happy all the time." Evie thought out loud, "Why would he choose to play a piece written for such a sad story?"

"He probably didn't choose it because of the story." Isabelle rationalized.

"Yes, ze music is very intense and amazing. Very difficult to play" Karin added.

            Now, as Isabelle watched Hendrick perform, she realized why he had chosen that piece. Shubert had written the piece to match the poem, and just like the poem, the music had four voices as well. Isabelle listened and watched in awe. She knew that it was a very difficult piece because the player has to express four voices on a monophonic instrument, but Hendrick was able to do it with ease. The high pitched, fearful voice of the young boy, the low, worried voice of the father, the mid-range of the narrator, and the sudden changes into sweet, enticing melody was the voice of the Erlking, all the while playing triplets of repeated octaves that simulated a horse's galloping.

            As Hendrick neared the end, he sped up even faster, until the very last line when the music slowed and quieted. Hendrick paused for a split second before furiously sliding his bow on the strings and drawing out the intense sound before abruptly cutting it off, signaling the end of the wicked story.

            Everyone in the concert hall was amazed. They burst out into applause and whispers circulated through the crowd.

"I bet he's not going to be a trainee for long."

"He'll definitely be able to join the music company."

"How is he still a trainee? He shouldn't be in the trainee part of the program. He should be in the main performances with us!"

            Isabelle clapped enthusiastically, in complete awe of his performance, looking up at Hendrick as he took a bow. Hendrick slowly straightened up, and as he looked out at his audience, his gaze landed directly on Isabelle. Meeting his eyes, Isabelle gasped a little. It was the first time she was actually paying attention and noticing Hendrick, seeing the depth and mystery in his eyes that she had never seen before. They held their eye contact in silence while the applause sounded around them; Hendrick was the first to break away as he walked off the stage.

            The applause quieted and everyone stood up to leave, glad that the rehearsal was finally over. Isabelle started making her way over to where Hendrick was putting his violin back in its case. As she approached, Hendrick looked up to see her walking closer. He straightened up, his mind raced furiously, trying to think of what to say to Isabelle.

            Isabelle opened her mouth to call out to Hendrick when her phone buzzed in her hand. Looking down, she saw a message from Jay.

"It's ten past 9 now. Are you done? Hurry up and come to the balcony."  Isabelle read the message and looked back up at Hendrick who was still looking at her. Giving him a small smile and two thumbs up, she quickly waved good bye, and hurried out of the concert hall, texting a response to Jay.

            Hendrick watched as Isabelle turned and dashed out. He was used to the feeling of his heart sinking now. He went back to putting away his violin and putting on a smile as Uncle Chin and everyone else came to talk and compliment him.

_____

"What's taking her so long?" Jay paced back and forth on the balcony, casting a glance every now and then over at the brown bag on a small nearby table. He heard the sound of the door behind him open.

"Hey. I'm here." Isabelle tentatively walked onto the balcony.

"Finally! Alright. Ok. Yeah, um, right here. Stand right here." Jay jumped with excitement as he ushered her to the railing of the balcony, having her look out over the city lights.

"What is it?" Isabelle laughed, jogging a little in place to keep warm in the cold winter night.  Jay pulled out a box of sparklers from the brown bag and lit them with his lighter. The thin stick burst into green sparks, sizzling as it burned. He walked behind Isabelle and handed her one.

"Oh wow! You went and bought sparklers?" Isabelle took the stick as the green sparks burst into the air, one after another.

"Not just sparklers." Jay pointed his sparkler toward the bag on the table. Isabelle went over and looked in the bag and gasped.

"No way! You got all of these? Seriously? Are we going to light them all?" she turned toward Jay, excitement shining in her eyes. Jay smiled a little.

"If you want to." 

"Can we?!" Isabelle grabbed a box from the bag, looking at it eagerly, trying to figure out what it was.

"I forgot how much you used to love fireworks." Jay laughed as he took the box from her hands, looking for the tab to open it.

"Of course you remember!" Isabelle had on the widest smile. "We would always set them off on New Year's. We go out and buy a ton and tried to set off as many at the same time as we could!" She no longer felt cold as the warm memories came rushing back.

            Jay and Isabelle opened all the boxes of sparklers and lit them all at the same time, holding them in bundles in each hand, waving them around off the side of the balcony. Within minutes, the air around them was full of smoke. They began to set off the actual fireworks, watching them burst into vibrant colors in the dark sky, laughing, singing, and screaming into the night. Not long after they started, fireworks from across the city began shooting up into the sky as well, creating a brilliant show.

"Well, that was the last one." Jay crumpled up the empty bag, the empty boxes scattered across the table.

"That was really fun." Isabelle stood at the edge of the balcony, watching the sky as others lit up their own fireworks. Jay leaned on his folded arms on the balcony rail.

"Yeah, it was." He paused for a second, his voice growing a little sadder. "Actually, I was hoping we could do this tomorrow night. You know, for the actual new year. But...I have the press conference tomorrow... and...I...I don't know what's going to happen. I might not be able to do anything for a while afterwards." He looked down at his hands, wishing that this mess would just go away. Isabelle turned to face him.

"I'm sorry. It's because of me. You've been spending too much time with me and naturally, Cera would feel lonely..." before she could finish, Jay wordlessly put his hand on the sides of her head, pulling her in closer. He put his lips to her forehead, holding her there, trying to communicate to her as best he could,

 "If I got the time back, I would spend it with you all over again."  Gently pulling her head back, he looked down into her eyes. Isabelle didn't know what to say, but more frightening to her was that she didn't know what to feel. She could only smile at him, but on the inside, were broken pieces of emotions that couldn't piece themselves together.

______

            Uncle Chin (Chin Ye)  sat calmly at the table, looking across at Jay and Isabelle seated on the other side. His brother Chin Lu was pacing back and forth. Isabelle was looking down at the table, silently repenting. Jay was clutching his fists, silently cursing Loq.

"It's all Loq's fault!" Jay burst out, breaking the tense silence. Chin Lu stopped pacing and glared at Jay. He unfurled the magazine in his hand and slammed it down on the table, causing Isabelle to flinch.

"It's his fault? It's his fault you were messing around with some other girl?" Chin Lu spat at Jay.

"Now, now." Uncle Chin said calmly, "She's not 'some other girl'. She's Isabelle. Now I'm sure there's some misunderstanding. Isabelle and Jay have been best friends since they were children, they were just..." Chin Lu cut him off before he could finish,

"Best friends? Does this look like that to you?!" He shook the magazine on the table. Isabelle looked at the cover and cringed. There she was, standing there on the cover, with Jay holding her head in his hands and kissing her forehead, and in large red words, "Who's that girl?"

"I'm telling you, it's Loq! He was sneaking around last night and wanted to stir up trouble!" Jay jumped out of his seat.

"Sit down!" Chin Lu barked at him. Jay violently kicked his chair, and decided to sit back down. "I don't care who took the picture right now. We can deal with that later. The problem is, you have a press conference in an hour. What are you going to do?" Chin Lu quieted down, but his voice still seethed with anger. Jay didn't answer. Sighing with frustration, Chin Lu took a seat.

"Alright, here's what's going to happen." He folded his hands and stared straight into Jay's eyes. "I'm going to write a script for you. Follow it. You're going to apologize for leaving Cera alone at her birthday party. You're going to apologize for this misunderstanding of being with another girl. You're going to say you've been going through tough times as an artist and have made some bad decisions. You're going to ask for forgiveness, and say that you'll never do it again. Understood?!" Chin Lu stared at Jay without blinking. Jay simply nodded, not saying a word.

"And you." Chin Lu turned his burning gaze to Isabelle. "You're going to go too. You're going to go up there, and say it's all a misunderstanding and that you don't mean to ruin Jay's relationship with Cera. You're going to apologize and ask for forgiveness." Isabelle couldn't bring herself to look directly at him, so she wordlessly nodded too.

"Good." Chin Lu stood up again. "Let's get going."

            Isabelle waited in a car for half an hour when she finally saw Jay and Chin Lu walk out of the building. She watched as Jay climbed into the car parked in front of hers and Chin Lu came and opened her door.

"Here, practice this on the way." Chin Lu handed her a couple note cards and slammed the car door shut, walking to Jay's car and getting in. Isabelle's driver started up the engine, and following Jay's car in front, they left for the conference.

            Isabelle practiced reading the note cards the entire way, hands sweating, fidgeting all the while. As the car stopped in front of a tall skyscraper building, someone opened her door and held out a hand to help her out. She stepped out nervously and was all but attacked with a flood of cameras and flashes. The next several minutes happened so quickly, it seemed to happen as fast as the flashes of the cameras.

            Jay was pulled through the paparazzi by Chin Lu, and Isabelle was pushed along behind him.  They found themselves in a large room filled with chairs and tables facing a small stage with a podium and microphone. Isabelle clutched the note cards in her hands as she sat in a seat in the first row and looked over at Jay positioning himself in front of the podium. Chin Lu took the microphone from the stand on the podium and spoke into it, quieting the crowd.

"Thank you for coming today. We know you're all very busy and want to be with your families for the New Year, so we're going to be very brief. Jay would like to apologize to everyone. And Isabelle Young, an accidental victim of this misunderstanding, would like to apologize as well." Chin Lu replaced the microphone on the stand on the podium and nodded at Jay to start. Jay nervously fidgeted with the microphone and cleared his throat.

"Thanks for coming..." he started off quietly. The cameras' flashes were the only sound in the otherwise deadly quiet room. "I'd like to um...apologize...for..." he looked down at his note cards, reading the list of what he's apologizing for. "...for...um...everything." he gave up on trying to read off the list. "I want to apologize to Cera...for leaving her alone at her birthday party....and about the recent magazine photo published this morning..." Jay scratched the back of his head, letting out a frustrated sigh, "...it's not what it seems...The person in the picture with me....is just a very good friend...who..."  Jay stopped. He ran his hand through his hair and looked down at the front row of seats.

            Isabelle looked up at Jay with worry as he stopped and sighed with frustration.  Then when Jay made eye contact with her, she knew what he was going to do. "No." she mouthed, shaking her head. "Don't do this." She thought as hard as she could.

"No." Jay spoke again. "It is exactly as it seems." The crowd started to mumble. Jay jumped off the stage and grabbed Isabelle's wrist. Isabelle couldn't believe he was doing it. He pulled her up onto the stage and turned her around to face the crowd.

"This is Isabelle Young. We've been best friends since we could remember, and now...now..." Jay turned to look at Isabelle, "I see her more than that." Everyone seemed to gasp in unison. Turning back to the crowd, he spoke confidently. "I'm sorry for causing all this trouble. I'm especially sorry to Cera. But this is the truth. Isabelle... is the truth." The crowd and cameras went wild. People jumping up and asking questions, reporters holding out their microphones. Angry shouting from every corner of the room. Ignoring the chaos around them, Jay turned to Isabelle again and looked into her scared eyes.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. "But I love you."  Jay put his hand behind her head, pulled her in close, and kissed her like her lips were made of air and he couldn't breathe.

If the ice melts, a warmer song should have come out. But why is it so cold?
~Isabelle