Episode 10: ...you

Development: Autumn

            It has been a couple months since the two groups of musicians have returned from their "bonding" adventure on the beach. Jay has been actively avoiding Isabelle to avoid bringing up any memories of the past. But there's this feeling he just can't shake.

            Jay sat back in his chair and looked at the notebook in his hand. He chewed on the end of the pen he held and nodded his head to the rhythm of the song he had written.  In the background of the small, but cozy music room, Taiyo played a few melodies on the keyboard. All of a sudden Lao Hu drowned it out with the wailing of his electric guitar, and Loq accompanied him with the bass. Just as soon as Da-ge started to go wild on the drum set, Jay jumped up from his chair and threw his notebook on the ground with a shout of frustration.

"It's no use!" He paced back and forth angrily, scratching the back of his head, platinum blond hair ruffling up, revealing the black underneath.  The room was quiet now.

"If we're bothering you just say so..." Da-ge whined quietly. "No need to shout..."  

            Jay let out a frustrated sigh. Kicking the notebook on the ground toward them,  he complained, "The song. It's no use. I can't get it right." Lao Hu bent over and picked it up. Loq looked at it over his shoulder. Handing the notebook over to Loq, Lao Hu positioned his guitar to play it. He played the first several chords and runs written on the paper and then looked back up at Jay.

"It sounds pretty good to me." 

"But what's up with these lyrics?" Taiyo maneuvered himself in between the two, his short stature dwarfed by the tall Loq and Lao Hu.

"You're like cotton candy, melting everyday in my heart. You're like a rainbow that comes dazzling into my heart. Will you whisper to me in your sweet voice? Every day, from the beginning, your heart has been loving me too. I love you, just be my love.*" Lao Hu read out loud. They all burst out laughing. Except for Jay. His usually pale face turned a faint pink.

"What are you laughing at?!" He snapped angrily, snatching the notebook back from them. Lao Hu wiped a tear from his eye as he tried to calm his laughter down.

"You...Jay...you're trying to write a love song. Have you even been in love before? I mean...what is this?!"

Jay threw the notebook on his chair and reached for his electric guitar.

"None of your business" He mumbled, still slightly pink.

"Hey didn't you meet that one actress at that party a couple days ago?" Taiyo said, back at his place behind the keyboard.

"Oh yeah, what's her name again?" Lao Hu wondered, "Oh! Chan, Cera, right?"

"Oh yeah, she's from America isn't she?" Loq chimed in. Jay rolled his eyes.

"But her family's from China right? I forgot where..." Da-ge added.

"Hong Kong. My family's from Hong Kong." A new voice sounded at the door of the practice room.

"Wow, " Lao Hu said with his flashy smile, "You're timing is impeccable."

She smiled and fluttered her eyes, "I've been told that several times."  She had milk chocolate colored hair that fell in a pretty, bouncy wave to the top of her shoulders. Her bangs swept across her forehead, held in place with a white ribbon headband. Wearing a peach colored flowery top, cropped white pants, and white sandals, she was the essence of a piece of  sweet candy that everyone wanted to have.

Da-ge just stared at her through his small crescent eyes, mouth slightly open, as if he had never seen a girl before. Lao Hu blatantly flirted up a storm with his eyes and smile. Loq cast quick, smoldering glances over, trying to look like he was busy tuning his bass. Taiyo didn't look at her at all, pretending to focus on the little tune he was playing on the keyboard, but he made sure to be alert and hear everything said. However, she only had eyes for Jay. Jay stood the furthest away from the door, holding his guitar and the power cord in his hands.

"I said I'd come visit you Jay." Cera started, "Here I am."  All the other members turned to stare at Jay now. He just looked at the ground and shrugged.

"Uh...we were just about to practice...so..." Jay plugged his guitar into the amp and moved the microphone stand into place.

"Oh perfect! I was hoping I could watch you guys practice!" Cera walked further into the room, looking for a place to sit.

"Well...we don't usually let other people..." Jay started, but Lao Hu jumped in before he could finish,

"But you, miss Cera, are more than welcome to stay and listen...and watch." Lao Hu winked at her and turned around to glare at Jay for a second then turned back to Cera with his flashy smile. Jay rolled his eyes at Lao Hu and got ready to play. Cera picked up the notebook from Jay's chair and sat down. Looking over it quickly, she giggled.

"These lyrics are very interesting."  She said, giggling cutely.

"Jay wrote them for the girl he likes!" Da-ge chimed in with a big smile on his face. Jay whipped around to glare at Da-ge. His smiled disappeared in an instant, and he slunk back to sit behind his drums.

"Ah..." Cera looked up through her long lashes at Jay, "Who are these lyrics about?"

            Jay scratched the back of his head nervously, feeling himself turn pink again, "Well...uh...I.." He didn't know what to say, his manager asked him to write a love song but he had no idea what love is. Cera let out a little gasp,

"Oh! It couldn't be about me could it?" She looked at him with as innocent of eyes as she could manage.

"What?!" Jay blurted out, surprised. She only giggled in response,

"Don't worry, I won't question you anymore about it." She looked away shyly. Jay not knowing what to say, Taiyo took over the lead and said,

"Let's practice." 

            Jay shook his head, clearing out the weird thoughts, and lifted the guitar strap over his head. As soon as the music started, Jay's internal conflicts seemed to be lost. The constant beat of the drum in the background helped keep him steady. The fancy technique and runs on the keyboard encouraged him to put his own skills to the test. The bass, as much as he hated to admit, made the song sound full and complete. The other guitar that accompanied him, made it so he didn't feel alone, and helped pick up the mistakes he would sometime make. Only then was he able to approach the microphone and sing the words his heart had put into his head. 

            Cera sat there, legs crossed, hands clutching Jay's notebook. She stared at Jay as he sang and played his guitar, replaying the last few moments in her mind. She visualized the look on his face when she asked him about his song. "He blushed!" she thought to herself. "He totally likes me. He couldn't find the confidence to ask me to stay and watch, he had to tell his friend to tell me to stay!" She sighed and admired the rock star in front of her wearing black skinny jeans,  combat boots, and a large black t-shirt. "Even his style is so handsome!" Cera fan-girled internally. "His roots are showing through his blonde hair and he still looks so cool! Oh look how it gets all messy when he shakes his head!"  Her face glowed with excitement.

            Jay was immersed in his music, but in the split second he looked up he saw a goofy look on Cera's face. She had the widest smile on and she was staring intensely at him. It threw him off for a second and he strummed the wrong chord, but he immediately focused back on the music, rolling his eyes at the stupid situation he was in.

            Cera about jumped out of her chair in happiness. "Oh my god he looked at me!" She fixed her hair quickly. "He even played a wrong note he was so mesmerized by me! He definitely likes me! He's even cooler when he rolls his eyes!"

When the song finally ended, Cera jumped up clapping. "That was amazing! I was captivated the whole time!" Her eyes still glued to Jay.

"Oh...thanks..." Jay had his eyes on the door, itching to get out. Cera walked closer,

"I actually have tickets to a local band's concert tonight. Their music sound is kind of similar to yours."

"That sounds awesome!!" Da-ge ran up from his spot in the back. "We'd love to!! How many tickets do you have?" Taiyo elbowed him, nodding his head in the direction of Jay.

"Oh...you probably want to go with just Jay..." Da-ge mumbled, clearly disappointed.

"Uh...actually..." Jay stuttered nervously, "Uh, Lao Hu! Didn't we say this morning we were going to karaoke?"

"Well you said it was a stupid idea..." Lao Hu started, but Jay cut him off,

"So sorry Cera. We'd love to go to a concert with you, but you know, I already made some commitments."  Jay unplugged his guitar, rushing to leave the little room that seemed increasingly more claustrophobic. Cera gave him a "seriously" look.

"Karaoke? Over a concert?" She asked, exasperated.

"Yeah." Jay answered. "I know most of the people in the bands around here, so I'm sure I could get tickets some other time." He grabbed his notebook that Cera still clutched in his hands. She held onto it. Jay looked into her eyes, trying to convey how crazy he thought she was through his gaze. Cera looked up at him thinking, "Oh my god, he's trying to seduce me with his eyes! Stay calm." Jay tugged on the notebook a couple times and she let go of it. "Yeah, she's crazy." He confirmed to himself.  

"Fine." She said, trying to sound cool, "I guess karaoke sounds fun too." she said, flipping her hair, "when should I meet you guys?"  Jay looked shocked,

"What? You're coming too?"

"Of course she should come! I invited all the classical musicians, so you should have a friend to hang out with too." Lao Hu said excitedly.

"We'll be at the karaoke place at 7. Please make sure to come." said Da-ge in an almost pleading voice.

"Sounds good." Cera said, trying to sound casual. Jay looked at his friends, trying to ask with his eyes what in the world they were trying to do. They all glared back at him, as if saying "just go along with it."

"Cool. See you there." with that, Jay swung his guitar case over his shoulder  and made his way out of the room, kicking the door open with frustration, leaving it hanging open behind him.

"Don't mind him," Da-ge tried to explain, "He just doesn't know what to say to such a pretty girl like you." He laughed nervously. Cera stared at the open door Jay had just walked through. A little pout on her lips and an eyebrow raised, as she spoke her mind out-loud.

"He totally likes me." With another flip of her hair, she strut out of the room, the little heel on her sandals clicking on the ground. As soon as she was out of ear shot, Lao Hu let out a laugh. Loq chuckled, saying,

"She's a piece of work isn't she?"

"I know right?" Lao Hu laughed, " Did you see the way she was staring at Jay while we were playing?"

"She seems a little full of herself too." Taiyo chimed in.

"Yeah..." Loq smiled a little smirk, "I like it." That stopped Lao Hu's laughing.

"What? You like her? I thought you were all about Isabelle?"

Loq set his bass down and grabbed his bag, swinging it over his shoulder,

"Yeah, she's alright." He lifted his hand to gesture goodbye and left the room as well. Lao Hu, Da-ge, and Taiyo were left alone in the room, looking at each other in confusion.

"But I think Isabelle's really cool." Da-ge looked at the ground, speaking quietly.

"Yeah, Loq just doesn't know what's good for him." Taiyo grabbed his sheet music and signaled to the others with his head, "Come on, let's go."  Da-ge, head still hanging low, followed him, tugging on Lao Hu's arm. Lao Hu just stood there, staring at the spot where Loq was just standing.

"Why...?" He started quietly.

"Why what?" Taiyo asked. Lao Hu snapped out of his trance,

"Huh? Oh nothing..." He turned around and followed them out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, he couldn't help thinking about it, "Why do I feel like I want to protect her?" He thought to himself. He flashbacked to that moment a couple months ago at the summer beach house, where Jay told him in the kitchen that Isabelle was actually their childhood friend Fenghuang. Lao Hu didn't believe it, but the longer he observed her and talked to her, the more he began to feel that connection. "No...it's not her. Loq is no different than you, he just wants to have a little fun." He told himself as he slowly walked down the hallway, looking at the back of Da-ge and Taiyo's heads. "Chang Da Sun. Yang Wen Tai." He thought back to their childhood days, "Do you remember who we were?"

­­______

            Jay strode quickly down the hallway, trying to get away from the practice room as fast as he could. "They're shameless... what do they think they're doing." He mumbled under his breath. Annoyed that they were trying to push him together with Cera. Then he heard the clicking of shoes behind him, and sure enough,

"Oh! Jay! Wait up!"

He didn't look back, but instead started to speed up.

"Wait up!" She called again, her heels clicking a little faster. Jay fast walked, almost jogging, and sped around a corner.  He looked around and found himself in a little hallway of practice rooms.  He tried the first door to his left, but it was locked. Shaking it hurriedly, he let out a shout of frustration. He tried the next one down, but it was locked too. Finally he turned to the door on his right, and the handle turned. He barged in, slamming the door behind him and locking it. He leaned his forehead against the door, letting his heart rate slow down.

"Jay? Where are you?" Came Cera's voice in the hallway. Jay held his breath. Then another voice came out of nowhere, making him jump,

"Uhm...what are you doing?"

Jay whipped around, startled. Isabelle sat at the grand piano positioned in the middle of the little room, hands still on the keys.

"Jay! Where did you go?!" Cera called again, rattling the door handles of the locked practice rooms.

"Uhh...who's..." Isabelle started, but Jay dashed over and covered her mouth with his hand. He knelt in front of her, pleading with his eyes, shaking his head. Isabelle looked down into Jay's dark eyes, then down as his hand across her mouth. She sat still and complied, returning Jay's gaze. The door handle of the practice room rattled and Cera's voice called out Jay's name. The two jumped at the sound. Jay jumped up and slid on the piano bench,  holding onto Isabelle's shoulders as he cowered behind her.

            Isabelle sat still on the piano bench, not knowing what was going on. "Who is he hiding from? Why is he hiding?" She thought to herself. All of a sudden she was startled by the rattling of the door knob. Jay had jumped onto the piano bench behind her, hanging onto her shoulders. "What is he so afraid of?" She could feel the tension in his hands and feel his heart beat beating from his chest, quickening all of a sudden. "Why is he sitting so close?" She frowned, "Why am I not moving away?" She realized. "He smells...nice. I wonder what cologne that is...Wait what am I thinking?!" She shook her head, flipping her long hair over her shoulder and turned around to face him. They heard the footsteps outside the door fade away. Jay was staring at her chin for some odd reason.

            Jay hid behind Isabelle for a couple seconds before realizing he had his hands on her shoulders. He realized just how close he was sitting to her, he felt his heart start racing. Then Isabelle shook her head lightly and brushed her long hair past her shoulder. "Her hair..." Jay stared at the back of her head absentmindedly, "...smells like flowers." He was so entranced with just being near Isabelle, he had completely forgotten about Cera until he heard the loud click of her heels fading away. Finally he realized that Isabelle was looking at him. "Dude, she's looking at you, say something." He found himself staring at her chin. "Snap out of it, snap out of it!" He yelled internally. He lifted his hands off her shoulders and abruptly turned toward the piano, looking up at the sheet music on the stand and nodded towards it.

"You...you were practicing that?" he asked in a low voice.

            Isabelle followed his eyes over to the piano, thinking to herself, "I guess he's not going to tell me what that was about. I don't care anyway." She didn't answer his question, but turned to place her hands on the keys.

            Jay watched as Isabelle slowly began to press the keys. Her left hand maneuvered up and down the octaves, playing a minor arpeggio that cried and sobbed as her right hand sung out a sad story that lamented and longed to be happy again.  He let himself get drawn into the story, visualizing the images that the sounds described, and began attaching memories from his own life to each note. He remembered his childhood and how he could never lose himself in classical music until now when Isabelle's rendition of Chopin's nocturne mesmerized him.  He remembered how he could only concentrate on the piano and what he was playing when Fenghuang was there listening. He remembered how Fenghuang was the first to find out about his dreams of being a rock star, and how she was there to comfort him when he felt like crying. He remembered how every time after that, when he felt like he couldn't be strong anymore, he would think of Fenghuang and it would give him strength to push on.

            Jay slowly looked up from the piano and let his gaze fall upon Fenguang's face. "No..." he thought, "She's Isabelle now. You promised yourself not to get into it." But he couldn't pull his gaze away from her face. Her large, doe eyes followed the movement of her hands, blinking every now and then. For the last couple months he had tried to avoid her, but every time he looked at her, he couldn't look away, as was the case at that very moment.

            The music slowed down to a finish and Jay knew what he was feeling. He had to admit the truth, to both himself and Isabelle. He couldn't hide from it anymore.

"Hey..." He said all of a sudden. Her head turned to look at him, the last note of the piece echoing as she kept her foot on the pedal.

"I..." he started, faltering as she looked at him intently.

"I...you...I mean..." Jay felt his face grow hotter.

"I...I love..."

*These are the translated lyrics of a song sung by Park Shin Hye in the Kdrama Heartstrings. ;)