Episode 12: The Complex

Development: Autumn Continued

            Isabelle was the only one who wasn't cheering or applauding. She listened as Cera explained how in love they were and couldn't wait any longer. The whole night Isabelle had been feeling uncomfortable for some reason. From the moment she saw Cera throw herself into Jay, she felt her heart drop.

"Why am I like this?" she whispered under her breath.

"What's up?" Loq asked, hearing her say something.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just really tired. I think I'm going to head back now." she stood up off the couch.

"Do you want me to walk back with you?" Loq asked, remaining seated on the couch, not actually wanting to leave.

"Oh no it's fine. It's literally just a couple blocks away." Isabelle said goodbye to everyone and made her way out of the room and building.

            As she walked down the busy street, cars honking and zooming by, the night air gave her time to think. "Why do I care so much about Jay and what he does?" she thought, feeling more confused than she had ever felt before. "I should care about Li Qiang right?" She tried to reason.

            She reached the large apartment complex in no time and walked through the glass doors. As soon as the doors opened, she heard the music. She saw the side door leading to the concert hall across from the elevators was wide open. She began walking towards it when she stopped dead in her tracks. "This song...it's..." her eyes grew wide in shock, she stopped breathing, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "It's Jilong!" she knew it, she had no doubt in her mind. She remembered the night she had first heard it many years ago as if it was just yesterday.

            She began running towards the door, heart pounding, "It's Jilong! He's here! He found me!" some part of her soared with happiness, but before she reached the door, she stopped again. She felt afraid. Afraid of seeing him again all these years. Looking at the ground, she slowly walked through the door, thinking frantically, "Jilong, I'm here! I'm here!" She forced herself to breathe a deep breath, and  looked up.

            Her jaw dropped. Her heart stopped. Her eyes could not believe it. Up on that stage, sat Jay, playing the piano as if he had been playing it all his life, playing the music that Jilong had written, drawing back memories that had been buried for a decade.

            All of a sudden the music stopped and Isabelle watched Jay stand up from the piano, sighing. She tried to move, she tried to run away, but she was frozen. She stood there as Jay turned around and watched as his eyes found hers. His face was full of shock as well. Isabelle was finally able to move. She never broke eye contact once as she walked towards the stage. "His eyes are so familiar." she thought, "his smile, I knew I've seen it somewhere." She felt tears come to her eyes. "Does he know it's me? He has to know it's me. How could he not have told me!" She stood right in front of him now, less than two feet away. Jay's eyes were searching hers, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Isabelle spoke first.

"You...you're..." she stammered.

"Yeah. It's me. " Was all Jay said, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"I'm...I am..." Isabelle could barely restrain the tears now. 

"Yeah. I know." he answered. A stream of tears ran down Isabelle's cheeks and a hot burst of anger ran through her body.

"Isabelle, look, I wanted to tell you..." Jay started. But Isabelle couldn't help it, she mustered up her strength and slapped him right across the face. She was sure that it hurt her own hand more than it did him, but at least she got the message across she thought as she rubbed her hand. Jay was silent for a second, a little shocked, and then sighed,

"Ok, I know I deserved that, but just listen to me for a second..." he started again, but Isabelle threw her arms around him, hugging him as tightly as she could. Jay stood there, even more shocked now, not knowing what to do as Isabelle sniffled into his shoulder,

"I'm...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye."  She managed to say coherently. Jay felt himself tearing up a little, but refused to let himself cry. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer,

"No, don't be. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed it." He remembered the anger and frustration he felt towards himself for not following her and being there for her all those years ago. They stood there together on the stage, lost in each other's embrace, unaware that the world outside still existed. As they pulled away slightly and Jay looked down into Isabelle's eyes. Without saying a single word, they both knew that things were going to change, that their world would never be the same again.

            Cera clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide in disbelief. She had left only a couple minutes after Isabelle and had seen her walk into the concert hall. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Did she just slap my Jay?!! What's going on? I can't hear what they're saying!" her mind raced, her face heating up with anger. "What is she doing?!!! Is he hugging her back! No!!" She backed away from the door and as quietly as she could ran out of the building. As soon as she was outside she whipped out her cell phone and pressed the speed  dial button for her manager.

"It's me." She said urgently, " I want you to call Jay's manager tomorrow and make an official public announcement that we're dating. Do you hear me? Do it now! I don't care if it's late, make it happen by tomorrow morning!" With that she hung up. "I won't let you have him." She said out loud, scowling at the memory of Isabelle throwing her arms around her boyfriend. "He's mine."

_____

Evie fumbled with her room keys that got tangled in the attached lanyard as she walked toward the elevator. She saw the door about to close and ran towards it shouting,

"Wait! Hold the door!" The door opened again and Evie ran into it. "Thanks!" She said, slightly breathless. "First floor please." She looked up at who was in the elevator with her and saw Raj. "Oh hey Raj! You going somewhere?" She noticed that instead of the usual black sweatshirt, jeans, and tennis shoes he wore, he was wearing a nice button up shirt, black slacks, and black shiny dress shoes. "Woah! Where are YOU going?" she said,  for the first time she felt as though she was the underdressed one, wearing her usual sport capris, t-shirt with random writing, and chunky running shoes.

"Out." He said quietly. Evie was used to his short, quiet responses. He rarely ever said more than a few words at a time.

"Out where? Can I come? I was just going to go buy some food, so I'm not really in a hurry." She was honestly very curious as to what in the world could have possibly gotten Raj to dress up. Raj just sighed and rolled his eyes. Evie took that as a yes and when the elevator opened on the first floor, she hopped out after Raj, excited to see where he was going, and in all honesty, to just get out of the apartment.

            They walked down the street in silence for ten minutes when Evie decided to ask again,

"Where are we going?" Raj stopped all of a sudden and pulled open his old looking messenger bag. He pulled out a crinkled paper and handed it to Evie. He swung his messenger bag back and continued walking. Evie read the paper as she followed him. It was a program sheet, listing Raj's name as the guest speaker to present his research on the reduction of cancer through the use of a psychedelic plant.

"Holy crap! Did you just develop a cure for cancer?!!!" Evie could not believe what she was reading. Raj sighed and rolled his eyes again.

"Not quite." Was all he said.

"But this...this says you...oh my god is this what you've been leaving to do every morning? If you're so good at this, why are you even pursuing music? You should just be a scientist!"

"It's a hobby." Came the short response.

"But you're helping save people from cancer! How could that just be a hobby?!"

"Back up plan?" He said, raising his eyebrows, actually contemplating the idea.

"You mean as a back up career? That doesn't even make sense! How could you think like that?" Raj was silent for a few seconds, thinking about it.

"What would you do if you couldn't play viola anymore?" That was the longest sentence Evie had ever heard Raj say, and that one sentence really stuck with her.

"Well...I'd..."she thought really hard. "I don't know...I don't really know what'd I do. I guess I don't really have that many interests, and I'm not really good at anything else..." Evie frowned, this really bothered her that she had just now realized that she was such a one dimensional person. Raj looked like he was about to say something, but decided not to. They walked for another twenty minutes in silence, and then Raj suddenly turned and walked into the front doors of a tall skyscraper.

"Woah...where are we?" Evie whispered as she walked in, seeing the enormous building.

"Welcome Mr. Patel, right this way." A tall Chinese lady led them through the lobby and into a large room filled with people, all dressed in business attire. Evie immediately felt self conscious that she was very underdressed.

"Maybe I shouldn't be here..." Evie whispered quietly to Raj, starting to slink away. Without saying anything, Raj lifted his messenger bag off his shoulder and handed it to Evie. Confused, Evie took it from him, and as soon as she did, Raj turned and took off toward the stage.

"Wait! What are you..." Evie tried following after him but was stopped by the voice of another Chinese lady standing on stage.

"Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming here today. I am very excited to present to you Raj Patel who will briefly present to you his research on the medical plant, ayahuasca, in reducing the presence of cancer in patients" The audience applauded as Raj stepped onto the stage behind a podium and adjusted the microphone attached to it. Evie quickly made her way to stand in the back of the room, unable to find an empty chair, and not wanting to be noticed.

"The ayahuasca is an ancient psychedelic plant medicine that has been used by shamans in South America..." Raj began.  Evie stood at the back of the room in awe. She had never heard Raj speak so much before, but what shocked her even more was how intelligent he actually was and how much he inspired her to do something more with her life than just sit in her room and play the viola.

            Soon Raj was done talking and the audience began asking questions. It was obvious Raj wasn't comfortable speaking in front of an audience in the first place, and now that he had to interact with them, he seemed even more nervous. Evie stood in the back and gave him a thumbs up or nodded her head to try and encourage him, sometimes even acting out something he could say, like a game of charades.  Raj would look at Evie every time he started having a hard time talking, and she tried to help him through it. 

            After everyone had asked their questions and Raj finally pulled himself out from the crowd, Evie ran up to him with a big smile on her face.

"You were amazing! I still can't believe you do this in your free time!"

Raj just shrugged his shoulders and took his bag back from Evie. They began walking out of the building and back onto the street.

"You know, my older brother is into computers and stuff, "Evie started jabbering, "Maybe you guys could get together and talk about some cancer screening technology or something. I don't know if that would help...but then again my brother can be kind of lazy you know..." Raj fumbled in his bag for something as they walked along. Evie kept jabbering, "I've never heard you talk so much before. Did my little charades in the back help? It seemed to help. Should I come with you to future speeches and stuff you have to give?"  Raj seemed to feel awkward hearing those questions,

"Uh...yeah it helped." was all he answered.

"Is that it? Do you want me to come with you next time?" Evie threw more questions at him. He all of a sudden pulled out his black beats head phones and put them on over his ears, the long cord spiraling down into the depths of his bag.

"Hey!" Evie protested. She was used to being around Raj and having him not say a word and just listen to his music. She usually just kept talking anyway, as if he was actually listening.

"Well, anyway I have to go to the grocery store to get food. You're coming with me right? Good. I have to buy rice, again! Why do you have to buy rice for the second time this week,  you ask? Well because Isabelle and Karin sit around eating all the time and don't bother to do any grocery shopping so I have to. I don't even have time to take care of my little plant, I'm always busy looking out for them!" They walked together until they came across a large grocery store and walked in.

            Raj wordlessly followed Evie around the store, listening to his music, and Evie kept jabbering on about whatever she thought of, not expecting him to answer.

"Oh look at these!" Evie found a table with pretty hair accessories laid out. She picked up a black silk headband and put it on. "I always want to wear things like this, but I don't think I'm really girly enough to pull that off. Haha. Oh look at this silver one! Which one looks better? Oh well, I wouldn't ever really have a reason to wear it anyway." She set down the headbands and sauntered off, Raj following. This went on for half an hour when they finally left the store, a big bag of rice in tow.

"Let's take the bus back, I don't want carry this huge bag back." Evie dragged the bag out of the cart and tried to carry it to the bus that just pulled up. Raj sighed and lifted it up with one hand and carried it up onto the bus. Evie ran onto the bus after him, scanning her card as she got on. She searched the bus and found Raj sitting near the back. She made her way over and slid into the seat next to him. He had leaned his head back against the window and had his eyes closed.

"Thanks." Evie said,  looking at him, hoping for an answer, but there wasn't one. After only a couple minutes Evie heard a quiet snoring coming from Raj. "Really? You fall asleep that fast?" She sighed and rolled her eyes. "And you're listening to that music every day. What do you even listen to? Depressing, heavy metal?" She leaned closer to his headphones but couldn't hear anything. She reached over and tugged on the cord that was inside his bag, trying to pull out his iPod. But there was no iPod, there was nothing attached, just the end of the cord. Evie looked at the cord, "So...he wasn't listening to anything?" Raj moved a little all of a sudden and Evie hurriedly put the cord back into his bag and sat back in her seat, thinking about what was going on with Raj. "Does he think that I'm just so annoying that he puts on his headphones so maybe I'd stop talking?" She started feeling upset. "I guess I do talk a lot." She decided to try and talk less and be less annoying.

            Their stop came up and Evie gently shook Raj's shoulder. He slowly opened his eyes and stood up as the bus came to a stop. Evie grabbed a hold of the bag of rice, but Raj picked it up before she could lift, his hand brushing against hers for a moment. He stepped off the bus and Evie followed. They walked a few feet and entered the building. Evie remained silent all the while. The elevator ride up to the 8th floor was silent as well. They walked into their hallway and Raj set the bag of rice down in front of Evie's door.

"Thanks." Evie said quietly, and fumbled around with her keys. Raj still stood there. Evie looked up at him as he pulled his headphones off his head and set them around his neck. He reached into his bag and pulled out a little paper brown bag.

"Here." He said quietly, handing the bag over to her. Evie slowly took the paper bag and opened it. Her eyes grew wide in surprise,

"When did you...?" She pulled out the silver headband she had seen earlier at the store. Raj looked away at the ground,

"It...it looks good with your hair." He managed to say. Evie couldn't help but smile up at him.

"I didn't know you actually listened to me talk." she said, her eyes shining. Raj's olive tan skin had a hint of pink. He fumbled with his bag for a second and hurriedly put his headphones back on. He waved goodbye real quickly and turned around and walked down the hall to his room, quickly closing the door behind him. Evie looked down at this silver headband in her hand and smiled, knowing that there wasn't actually any music on the other side of the headphones. "He actually listens to me talk." With a smile still on her lips, she opened her door and dragged the bag of rice inside.

____

            Isabelle sat on her bed hugging her pillow and staring at the magazine on her desk. She reached over and picked it up again. It was Beijing's most popular gossip magazine, and right on the front cover were two pictures, one of "Chinese Princess Cera Chan" and one of "Hot rock star Jay-dragon". The large Chinese characters seem to scream at Isabelle from the cover, "Hottest new couple, talk of the entire entertainment industry!" Isabelle threw the magazine across her room, watching it hit the other wall and fall to the ground. It was only just yesterday that everything had happened, and yet the news was out this morning.

            Isabelle sighed, not knowing why she felt the way she did. She heard a knock on her door and got up to unlock it.

"Hey! Can I talk to you?" Evie came into her room and took a seat on the chair at Isabelle's desk. Isabelle sat on her bed and picked up her pillow again.

"What's up?" Isabelle asked, looking intently at Evie, who seemed to have something serious on her mind.

"Well, Raj asked me something today. And it kind of bothered me, you know?"

"Wait...Raj asked you something?" Isabelle asked, surprised that Raj could actually ask a question.

"Yeah, it's a long story. But anyway, he asked me, what would I do if I couldn't play the viola anymore? And when I thought about it, I realized that I'm not really good at anything else! I'm not smart, or talented really. I don't have many other interests. Isabelle, what would you do if you somehow couldn't play the piano anymore?" Evie looked really serious, worried almost. Isabelle thought about it, and realized what Evie was talking about it.  She remember that time on the beach where she was able to imagine all her friends doing something other than music except her.

"I see what you mean," Isabelle said softly, "I guess I wouldn't really know what to do either." This thought started to bother her, even more than it did before. But her train of thought was interrupted by another knock on the door. The door opened and Jay poked his head in,

"You ready?" he asked. Isabelle realized that they had made plans last night to hang out today.

"Oh yeah! Sorry, Evie, I kind of made plans to do stuff."

"It's fine. I just wanted to ask you that. We can talk later. Have fun!" Evie walked past Jay and disappeared.

            Jay walked into her room and looked around as Isabelle grabbed her purse and looked for her keys. He walked over to the magazine that lay splayed open on the floor next to the wall. He picked it up and flipped to the front page. As he saw the cover he sneered and scoffed at it.

"What are you doing reading magazines like these?" He scolded.

"Oh...I just saw it on the stand in the lobby..." Isabelle took the magazine from him, avoiding his eye contact. Jay snatched the magazine back from her.

"Well, don't read these." He looked around and found the trash can and tossed it in. "Let's go." Isabelle followed him down the  hall, her mind a tornado of confusion and uncertainty. Jay's new girlfriend, and her own identity complex clouded her mind. She didn't realize where they were going until Jay finally spoke again.

"Here we are."

            Isabelle looked up at where they stopped. It was a little coffee shop on a quiet street. They walked in and Jay looked around.

"There they are." Sitting at a table near the back, was Da-ge, Lao Hu, and Taiyo. Isabelle stood still, staring at them, unsure of what was going on.

"It's fine. I told them." Jay gently took her arm and tugged her along. They stopped in front of the table and Jay sat down. Isabelle remained standing as the guys turned their heads to look at her. Da-ge sat in the chair closest to her, and he stood up. He wasn't as tall as Jay, but still a good couple inches taller than her. Isabelle looked up at him, seeing his small crescent eyes and large nose, she smiled, remembering Dasun. Seeing her smile, he burst out in a huge smile too and jumped toward her and gave her a big hug.

"Fenghuang!!" he shouted as he hung onto her. Isabelle's eyes grew wide. It was the first time in a long time she had heard herself called that. Someone pulled Da-ge off her, and she looked up to see Lao-Hu, his flirty smile and twinkle in his eyes still there, he laughed and gave her a hug too,

"You never fooled me. I knew it was you all along. I'd never forget those pretty eyes." Isabelle laughed and play pushed him.

"Song Lin, you're still the same flirt." She laughed.

            Taiyo didn't stand up, but raised his hand up. Isabelle turned a little and clasped his hand. He held her hand tightly and looked into her eyes with a smile, he nodded his head as if to say "welcome back".

            Isabelle looked around her at all her childhood friends that she had held dearly, that she had missed every day of every year, that she hadn't noticed when they were right under her nose. She felt her eyes grow hot, but she wouldn't let herself cry. Despite all the confusion and doubt she had going on in her head that plagued her life, seeing all of them together again was the happiest day she remembered having in a long time.

            She took a seat and they ordered coffee. They talked the afternoon away, laughing and joking every minute. Isabelle looked around at all the smiles on her friends faces and sighed a sigh of relief. She had her family back. She wouldn't have to face anything alone again.